Theodore is my 270,000 mile beige over beige 2004 Toyota Camry LE. Named after Ted from Queer As Folk because he’s reliable and boring. Terrance is my 2008 Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited. I named him Terrance because he’s a sassy and classy middle aged fag. He got a fat ass too.

fin™@finesseshot.bsky.social · 4d ago

Do you guys name your cars

Something “they” don’t really prepare you for when you establish boundaries with people you love is how some of them straight up disappear afterward. It can be lonely and it’s a shitty way to find out your juice isn’t worth the squeeze to them, but it makes room for the ones who can take the heat 🤷🏼‍♂️

Dissociated my way through a pretty decent full body workout today, please clap

Belly Buesday

Me, back in December. Lesson learned!!!

jamie (they/them)@zerojokes.bsky.social · 5d ago

I have allowed myself to be attracted to someone in another state like a dummy would

Workout was absolute ASS but I feel better and that’s all I really care about. Time to eat my dinner and z o n e o u t t t

St. Paul Pork Product@dgr3xl.bsky.social · 5d ago

Anxiety spiked and I had to leave work early. Thought maybe going to the gym would help me burn it off. Who’da thunk the gym would be packed at 8pm on a Monday????

Anxiety spiked and I had to leave work early. Thought maybe going to the gym would help me burn it off. Who’da thunk the gym would be packed at 8pm on a Monday????

Had a dream last night I was at DQ and the very attractive salt/pepper daddy bear who owned it was mercilessly flirting with me while I ordered a large Blizzard with extra PB cup/PB M&Ms. He said “coming right up, handsome” just before I woke up. I’m upset I didn’t get that Blizzard

Either I pulled a muscle in my mid-back or angered my sciatica, but I haven’t been to the gym since Sunday because of it. So, I treated myself to a lil leg day and hit arms and chest real quick so they didn’t feel left out

And I meant it! Anyway, my order from @jacobblank.bsky.social arrived today!

Olive green is my favorite neutral

An American hero

Pop Crave@popcrave.com · last wk.

Luigi Mangione admits to shooting UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson as he pleads guilty to federal stalking charges: “I shot Mr. Thompson in Manhattan. I understood that my actions would place him in fear of death or bodily injury. I knew what I was doing was illegal.”

Got humbled today because only one customer asked me if I was the store bouncer 🤕🤕🤕

Nobody knows I wore a jock today

If you want to know how progressive Minneapolitans are, just know that our mayor is a Democrat and we still hate him. And our incumbent senator Angie Craig is also a Democrat and we still hate her too. They’re both terrible people. WE WANT MORE LEFT. WE WANT PEGGY FLANAGAN.

Same tummy, different Tuesday

Being a brave little soldier and going to work anyway

St. Paul Pork Product@dgr3xl.bsky.social · 2w ago

Luv 2 wake up with an unexplained headache 🤕

Luv 2 wake up with an unexplained headache 🤕

Love when my friends come to see me at work so I can show off my packing skills

Kinky Twinkie@thekinkytwinkie.bsky.social · 2w ago

Tonight’s late-night leaky #mcm boner is brought to you in part by @dgr3xl.bsky.social and his expert ability to pack my groceries while also packing his thick juicy cakes into those slutty little khaki shorts

Hi my name is David and I’m an all-caps-er

As I head into week 36 (!!!) I’ve gotten to a point in my fitness journey where the weights I’m pushing aren’t leaving me sore the next day, even though I’ve increased a few of them over the last couple weeks. Which is insane to me. Time to pump it up!

Guys I didn’t have a tripod what else as I supposed to do 🤷🏼‍♂️

I think buying name brand/designer clothes for little kids is a stupid waste of money until I see a toddler in Jordan 1s and then I’m like AWWWWWW

I’m a Tension II apologist and I’m not sorry about it

Coworker (pic for reference): *walks up from behind me* — “David your calves are crazy… if you kicked me I’d fly through the wall” I definitely blushed, but she’s not wrong 💅🏻

It’s Friday night, fuck it we’re posting drafts. This fuckass app doesn’t allow you to post drafts in threads, so I posted screenshots after the first one

St. Paul Pork Product@dgr3xl.bsky.social · 2w ago

I don’t know what’s worse. The man in his late 50s who is absolutely beating the entire fuck out of his body/hair/face/dick on facetune before uploading his selfies, or his followers who don’t call it out. The edits are so egregious, I don’t understand how people just go along with it LMAO

I don’t know what’s worse. The man in his late 50s who is absolutely beating the entire fuck out of his body/hair/face/dick on facetune before uploading his selfies, or his followers who don’t call it out. The edits are so egregious, I don’t understand how people just go along with it LMAO

Clocked in this morning at 6:57 and my coworker graciously waited until 6:58 to look at me and say “Hey! Kool-Aid!” NGL he cooked me with that one 😂

*Manifesting a Love Sensation music video*

The new Carly Rae song is a banger but the music video is NOT it. Jessie Ware, however, CONTINUES to understand the assignment