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Devorah Blachor

@devorahblachor.bsky.social

Author of 'The Feminist’s Guide to Raising a Little Princess', novels, humor. Working on a new book and also a time travel machine https://substack.com/@devorahblachor

112 Posts867 Follower265 Folgt
Devorah Blachor@devorahblachor.bsky.social · 2w ago

This is the grandfather of the reclusive GOP donor who’s currently withholding his usual massive donations because Republicans failed to restrict voting rights. The apple doesn’t fall far from the nepo billionaire oligarch! (gift article in the comments)

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McSweeney's@mcsweeneys.net · 5mo ago

"I consider myself an open person and felt compelled to leave a place that was becoming increasingly intolerant. Little did I know that this openness would lead me to this theater, with this man who's rocking a loincloth that’s not really a diaper but also not quite a thong."

Oh No, I Left the US Because of Trump and Moved to the Part of Europe Where All Live Performances Are Cirque du Soleil Knockoffs

“Now that my only entertainment opportunities involve two men riding neon glow-in-the-dark motorcycles inside an enormous orb, I must ask myself if I made th...

buff.ly

McSweeney's@mcsweeneys.net · 7mo ago

"When I first planned this trip, I had no idea that war was even on the horizon. I guess that’s what happens when you get your news from [MEMES / GROK / COTTAGECORE TOK / THE CBS SUBSTACK]." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/soc...

Social Media Post Template for Influencers Stranded by the War

“Dubai influencers’ lives of luxury interrupted by Iran strikes: ‘The image of safety has been shattered.’” — The Guardian - - -Thanks to everyone ...

mcsweeneys.net

Devorah Blachor@devorahblachor.bsky.social · 7mo ago

It’s gratifying when people tell me how brave I am to endure this war with my forward-looking attitude and my [GORILLA MINDSET / SIGMA LOOKSMAXXING APPROACH / TOXIC POSITIVITY]. My latest in @mcsweeneys.net remembers the real victims of this war - the influencers. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/soc...

Social Media Post Template for Influencers Stranded by the War

“Dubai influencers’ lives of luxury interrupted by Iran strikes: ‘The image of safety has been shattered.’” — The Guardian - - -Thanks to everyone ...

mcsweeneys.net

McSweeney's Internet Tendency [Unofficial]@mcsweeneys.net.web.brid.gy · last yr.

I’m the Private Messaging App Signal, and the Trump Administration Is Ruining My Brand

_“ The unofficial version of Signal used by Donald Trump’s former National Security Adviser Mike Waltz has been hacked.”_ — Reuters - - - Want to hear something interesting? If you’re a messaging app trying to market yourself as the “gold standard of private communications," the last thing you want is to be in the news every day because some Fox News host is too dumb to understand how privacy works. That’s just a little free info from me, Signal, the messaging app you’ve probably been reading about lately thanks to a bunch of high-level government pinheads who think that the MMR vaccine is composed of fetus debris and gay powder. These corrupt and over-coifed pillocks are ruining my brand. My whole thing is supposed to be privacy, which is my main selling point. Not that I sell anything—I don’t even have ads or collect meta data, which is why I’m superior to anything that the Meta dipshit produces. But you’d never know that now, would you, because these galumphing Trump admin clowns have absolutely obliterated my image with the kind of staggering incompetence you usually see only from mating giant pandas and Heinz Doofenshmirtz. My creator actually goes by the name Moxie Marlinspike, I shit you not. That’s how seriously we take the principle of secrecy. Everyone who created, develops, or maintains me literally calls themselves “privacy advocates” on their LinkedIn page. But just like _Water-_ , _Gamer-_ and _Pizza-_ , I’m a fucking Gate now, which is the exact opposite of privacy. It’s like if, instead of hiding out in Cornish, New Hampshire, J. D. Salinger had started a livestream podcast about how to hit on teenage girls. Before this scandal broke in March, the biggest story about me was on the 7.34.0 version rollout, which meant I could support Arm64 processors like Qualcomm Snapdragon X Plus. Yeah, that was an actual news item you never read, because it wasn’t a war in Yemen. Now I’m in the news every day. Instead of thinking of me as “that excellent, discreet messaging alternative,” you’ll forever associate my name with the shadiest ineptocrats to ever work in DC. And this is the same city where Marion Barry smoked crack and Kissinger orchestrated a fascist coup in Chile. The damage to my brand is incalculable. I used to be hugely popular among journalists working with anonymous sources. But what anonymous source is going to go anywhere near me now? If you were some high-up whistleblower, the last thing you’d do is message a journalist on an app strongly associated with JD Vance. Do you even know what “E2EE” means? It’s end-to-end encryption, which is what I use, and it means that only the sender and recipient should be able to read your messages, and _not_ Jeffrey Goldberg. And here’s the biggest irony. I have an open-source design that allows anyone to inspect my code for vulnerabilities, which means I’m as transparent as I can possibly be. In other words, the exact opposite of this Cabinet, where lies are as popular as bootlicking, adultery, and Kid Rock. Whenever I think I’m out of the news cycle and can finally separate myself from these blundering twonks, they keep pulling me back in. I didn’t even know I had a less secure knock-off version, and even worse, that it was hackable. Yet somehow Mike Waltz did, and here we are. This whole thing has been disastrous. It’s almost as if my competitors cooked this scandal up, orchestrating a failure on such a colossal scale so that anyone considering me changed their minds, instead keeping their shitty, user-data stealing, ad-heavy, privacy-compromised apps. Wait a minute. Is this you, Mark? This has “Meta dipshit” written all over it. Screw you, asshole. You won’t get away with this. I mean, you probably will, because that’s the vibe nowadays. I just hope that sometime in the future, when people talk about Signal, they’ll remember my cutting-edge technology, my Double Ratchet algorithm encryption, and my commitment to protecting user privacy. But who am I kidding? They’ll probably just think of incompetence, arrogance, and .

mcsweeneys.net

Devorah Blachor@devorahblachor.bsky.social · last yr.

Please read this important post from the messaging app you’ve probably been reading about lately thanks to a bunch of high-level government pinheads who think that the MMR vaccine is composed of fetus debris and gay powder. @mcsweeneys.net @signal.org www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-...

I’m the Private Messaging App Signal, and the Trump Administration Is Ruining My Brand

“The unofficial version of Signal used by Donald Trump’s former National Security Adviser Mike Waltz has been hacked.” — Reuters - - -Want to hear ...

mcsweeneys.net

Hank Green@hankgreen.bsky.social · 2y ago

A tricky thing about modern society is that no one has any idea when they don’t die. Like, the number of lives saved by controlling air pollution in America is probably over 200,000 per year, but the number of people who think their life was saved by controlling air pollution is zero.