Someone gasp laughing and crying at a line in a sprite commercial here

I'm going to go see Akira in 4k! Yippee!!!

If you have a big golden treasure chest, it better have something good inside

Grey Alien from two star systems away joining twitter and posting culture war crap for engagement

Typing out some incomprehensible bull shit that you can vaguely decipher as a joke

My glutes have gotten too big. It looks comical when I wear these dress pants, which otherwise would be fine. I need special, formal parachute pants or some shit.

My horoscope threatening me today

Naming myself Romulus Gaul and saying some stupid bullshit

Nintendo has done it again with Pikmin Tickle Touch and Yoshi's Squishy Eggs. Switch 2 is shaping up nicely!

Running at you on all fours like a gorilla

No, I actually don't need to see that.

I just invented the Kanga2, a new type of animal with awesome abilities.

Turning the temperature down 40 degrees. Fahrenheit, not celsius; fear not my non-American friends.

*putting on 5 year old dress clothes that are about to burst* these still fit im good

What did I tell you about talking to daddy when the couch gag is happening

Homer should be punished

An account with this avatar was just blocked.

I have a second face on my stomach that tells me what to do and gives me tips for my day to day life

I'm eating for two. Just kidding. But the one is very big and constantly growing.

Incline benching 95s tonight. Did one set of 4 reps, gonna try to do 5 sets total. #growing

Y’all ready for this? *both legs dislocate at every joint and i fall down*

We stay mecious

Are we for real here

Bro you smell like Puke's Brother

Hey cmere let me tell you a secret *leans in close to your ear and does a huge burp that stinks*

Shit

Poop!