replacement fridge imperceptibly bigger than old fridge but the emotional effect is that i now have a terrifying 2001 a space odyssey ass monolith obelisk towering over me in my kitchen

lucy rowan holmes@absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 3d ago

so my fridge has broken down, and the resultant Defrosting Anxiety is seeping not only into the floorboards but also into other non-fridge related thoughts. “Hey, your clothes are thawing out as we speak. Probably oughta take out the bins before they melt. Enjoy your cold shower with no ice, moron”

look, i just think she’s neat

oh yeah well uhh how about riddle me this, “what had a perfectly good nose on its face but then lost its nose when some guy chiselled off its nose and so now has no nose”, you noseless patronising four-legs-in-the-morning-ass, yeah that’s the riddle of the ME, asshole, fuck you

so my fridge has broken down, and the resultant Defrosting Anxiety is seeping not only into the floorboards but also into other non-fridge related thoughts. “Hey, your clothes are thawing out as we speak. Probably oughta take out the bins before they melt. Enjoy your cold shower with no ice, moron”

listen,

Dexerto@dexerto.bsky.social · 3d ago

Amazon users are discovering a bizarre "About You" page that reveals what the company thinks it knows about them One woman found Amazon had determined she "has flat buttocks"

aw jeez

Be Gay Solve Crimes@begaysolvecrimes.bsky.social · 4d ago

BONUS EPISODE - This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a trip to scandinavia brackets american for some more cold fuzz. It’s the Coen brothers’ classic Fargo (1996)! www.patreon.com/BeGaySolveCr...

Oh you betcha

Be Gay Solve Crimes@begaysolvecrimes.bsky.social · 4d ago

BONUS EPISODE - This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a trip to scandinavia brackets american for some more cold fuzz. It’s the Coen brothers’ classic Fargo (1996)! www.patreon.com/BeGaySolveCr...

she is everything to me

Be Gay Solve Crimes@begaysolvecrimes.bsky.social · 4d ago

BONUS EPISODE - This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we take a trip to scandinavia brackets american for some more cold fuzz. It’s the Coen brothers’ classic Fargo (1996)! www.patreon.com/BeGaySolveCr...

breaking a nail is so annoying because if i break my index finger nail i look like a coke fiend and if i break my pinkie nail i look like i play the banjo. how is anyone supposed to know i'm a lesbian

Camp Miasma too popular, Jane flying too close to the sun, i should never have to hear a friendly cis coworker ally in the library WHO I HAD *JUST* MET feel confident enough to say the words "It's sorta about Autogynephilia, right?" to me in a laid back sunshiny smile-on-his-face way

not to brag or anything but i brought a batch in for my library coworkers and one of them took a bite and literally started crying with joy, so 💅🏻

lucy rowan holmes@absobloodylucy.bsky.social · last wk.

anyway i logged off to bake some Honey Biscuits yesterday. they're sorta like snickerdoodles. i tried not to remember everything bad that's ever happened to me. i really tried.

this was the only version of alice in wonderland i knew existed until i was about 10

Sleepy Hollow Reviews 🎃🐎@sleepingvillage.bsky.social · 7d ago

In honor of scary media month: what is the first piece of media you remember truly frightening you as a child?

how it feels to chew 5 gum

anyway i logged off to bake some Honey Biscuits yesterday. they're sorta like snickerdoodles. i tried not to remember everything bad that's ever happened to me. i really tried.

Well, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna click the link and open up the steam store. You're gonna purchase Lovely Lady RPG at a very generous 20% discount either for yourself, for a friend or loved one, or for your group's Grungler. That's it. store.steampowered.com/app/3567040/...

People like to talk up how complicated and twisty the ending of American Psycho is, but the message is very simple and clear: real estate agents will gladly help you cover up a murder.

maybe we call it "looking up to someone" because i was supposed to have grown out of doing it by now

libraries have this thing where we often donate books to local prisons (unambiguously based), but we’re asked to limit our choices only to crime/thrillers/scifi/fantasy/contemporary fiction, and to actively exclude all family saga, romance, and “chick lit” which… lowkey sucks? idk

Be Gay Solve Crimes@begaysolvecrimes.bsky.social · 2w ago

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we go completely insane trying to summarise the unsummarisable. It’s The Pink Panther, babyyyyy www.patreon.com/BeGaySolveCr...

how it feels to be a sensitive young punch bowl

Be Gay Solve Crimes@begaysolvecrimes.bsky.social · 2w ago

This week on Be Gay Solve Crimes, we go completely insane trying to summarise the unsummarisable. It’s The Pink Panther, babyyyyy www.patreon.com/BeGaySolveCr...

i feel lucky to have grown up in a time when my childhood aspirations to be the lead writer for Doctor Who were only unrealistic due to steep competition and my not being married to a tv producer, rather than due to god's densest ghouls replacing all writing jobs with the Key-Jingler 3000

Erin Returns From The Grave 🦇🖤🦇@woodaba.bsky.social · 2w ago

slander for your least favorite episode of doctor who just dropped

fuck it. 2027 will be the year of Lucy's Belated Ballerina Arc. i will grind my brainworms into dust beneath my pirouettes

lucy rowan holmes@absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 2w ago

dysphoria brainworms are so weird because i've got The Ballet Yearning again but the thing i'm most scared of is not how revealing leotards are but instead how tight and slicked back your hair has to be for a ballet bun?? even bangs have to be pinned up! transphobic, frankly

how am i only just now this very second learning that Studio Laika is doing a stop-motion animated adaptation of susanna clarke's Piranesi????

lucy rowan holmes@absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 2w ago

lucy lore: Coraline was always my favourite cosy halloween film, and an annual rewatch for years. all my gfs pretransition would ask me what i wanted to dress up as for halloween, and i’d shrug and deflect but there was always one consistent alarmingly unvoiceable answer: “…Coraline, obviously.”

dysphoria brainworms are so weird because i've got The Ballet Yearning again but the thing i'm most scared of is not how revealing leotards are but instead how tight and slicked back your hair has to be for a ballet bun?? even bangs have to be pinned up! transphobic, frankly

lucy's typo of the week: bottomless samosas

lucy rowan holmes@absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 3w ago

lucy’s typo of the week: self esteem boots

cheerily queuing up to have a kalashnikov pointed at my head knowing full well i'm gonna pass the post-revolution vibe check by answering the single question "Is a hot dog a sandwich?"

one of my earliest memories: i am 3 years old and my mum is pregnant with my sister. she takes me with her to her ultrasound appointment. i watch the pretty sonographer lady put gel on my mum's baby bump. i ask if she can check inside my tummy for a baby too. she does so. my mum squeezes my hand.

lucy rowan holmes@absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 2w ago

i love big family weddings. i love seeing dozens of happy couples and their adorable children. i love being asked multiple times in a row when i'm gonna have a baby. this is really good for my mental health i think.

i love big family weddings. i love seeing dozens of happy couples and their adorable children. i love being asked multiple times in a row when i'm gonna have a baby. this is really good for my mental health i think.