No matter what this image never fails to cheer me up

Do you disavow the Procyon Brotherhood? And if so: how dare you?

Walt Whitman, after pooping: "I contain fewer multitudes."

We're looking forward to the first online sports betting site to use the unauthorized hologram of Pete Rose.

The Woke are coming off a down season but the core remains intact and they've called up some young talent. Advanced metrics suggest their stars were underperforming their peripherals for much of the summer. Expect contention as early as next season if they sign some high heat relief over the winter

JS@jsplaceholder.bsky.social · 2w ago

New America PAC mailer just dropped and I regret to report that I want the tshirt version

Oh, crap, is it too late to go back and make an Ozzy joke?

Them raccoons ain't right@chrisraccoons.bsky.social · 2w ago

Spouse: I bought pumpkin and bat ravioli at Costco. Us: Uh, bat?!?? How much bat is in it? Isn't any amount too much? p.s. Please don't look at this, @mementomorty.bsky.social. It could be too soon.

Spouse: I bought pumpkin and bat ravioli at Costco. Us: Uh, bat?!?? How much bat is in it? Isn't any amount too much? p.s. Please don't look at this, @mementomorty.bsky.social. It could be too soon.

is it hard to find a therapist in your area? are you sick and tired of trying to navigate confusing bureaucracy just to be denied by your insurance at the last second? have you heard about Posting Through It?* don't ask anyone if Posting Through It is right for you. just Post Through

Lest you question the profundity of the raccoons....

Them raccoons ain't right@chrisraccoons.bsky.social · 3w ago

Big poo poop in the morning Good day you're earning Big poo poop at night The benefits are slight.

The very ontological notion that saying the nonsensical words "liberty biberty" brings a cryptid into existence suggests a paradigm of dark magick. In this essay, .... (1/3547)

Dollar Store Xanax is a great band name

Did you block us because you were embarrassed that you missed the (obvious) joke? If so, thank you (sincerely).

Good news, y'all! We found the joke understander!

Introducing RACC 8.2, the highest numbered — and therefore best — AI (as determined by RACC 8.2).

👌🏻

Surely the think that will unify us all: We want to see a duck wedding. Please make this happen, @meghancolleen.bsky.social.

Them raccoons ain't right@chrisraccoons.bsky.social · 3w ago

OK, somehow we read this as "a duck wedding" and that was also kinda amazing for the half second before our stupid brain corrected itself.

In Florida, can you really always distinguish the cartels from the government?

Josh Marshall@joshtpm.bsky.social · 3w ago

Are they really saying Flock can’t sell their cameras to the cartels too?

NGL, this sticker from the ACLU of Delaware reads as slightly antagonistic towards trans people.

Clinging to the side of a cliff with nice views? Yes, that sounds alright

Went to the butterfly garden today and saw mostly hummingbirds, but this monarch has a tiny little tag for tracking their migration. Normally we'd joke about privacy or creepers tracking their moves, but this project is really cool

We'll say this- the "joke" that Gingers have no soul is starting to look a bit more like a description of fact

great art articulates eternal truths

Nice campaign by the Norwegian Consumer Council about the declining lifespan of products. Enjoy!

wip wednesday! almost done with the main part and just need to plan out some pac-men, pellets and fruits

As we understand it, this is what Catholics say in August-October....

Them raccoons ain't right@chrisraccoons.bsky.social · last mo.

And with your Spirit Halloween store

Odds that the owner of this car is a raging asshole?

They don't even deserve bespoke fart noises. So.... you can use our new AI startup that generates AI Slop Fart Noises.

That was Very Good Content™ that we decided to not repost due to lack of alt text. Please use alt text.

Them raccoons ain't right@chrisraccoons.bsky.social · last mo.

Oh, crap. Per my policy, I'm going to undo the repost.

Most of our posts today have been bad, so we'll post a picture of Otis and Ezra we just took to make up for it.

Look, everyone is entitled to celebrate in their own way. Don’t judge.