Lovette 🏳️🌈
@lovettejallow.bsky.social
Published Author || 9x Award Winning Lecturer || Public Speaker || AuDHD || 🇬🇲🇸🇪🇳🇬🇨🇮 || 📧Lovette@Lovettejallow.com
Autistic people are not immune to abuse. I keep seeing “too autistic for narcissists” used as reassurance, as though literal thinking, pattern recognition or directness protects us from manipulation. It does not, and the claim can leave survivors blaming themselves. #Autism #Neurodivergence
Autistic people are not immune to abuse. I keep seeing “too autistic for narcissists” used as reassurance, as though literal thinking, pattern recognition or directness protects us from manipulation. It does not, and the claim can leave survivors blaming themselves. #Autism #Neurodivergence
Autistic people are taught how to mask long before anyone teaches us when masking serves us. My new essay asks what masking can do to self-trust, and why “too autistic for narcissists” leaves survivors carrying another accusation. Read the full essay: linked below #Autism #Neurodivergence
I have completely ghosted Bluesky 😭 i keep forgetting to post on here. I shall do better
Agnes Asks for a Pinky Promise
ALT: Agnes Asks for a Pinky Promise
static.klipy.com
Also want to highlight @lovettejallow.bsky.social who is incredible and just a joy to listen to ❤️👏👏👏
Thinking Person's Guide to Autism@thinkingautism.com · 7mo ago"When someone says you don’t look disabled, they are seeing the output of an enormous amount of effort they had no access to. […] What they are not seeing is the cost of that functioning, or what follows it." By @lovettejallow.bsky.social: lovettejallow.substack.com/p/you-dont-l... #neurodiversity
More of this please!!!!
Lovette 🏳️🌈@lovettejallow.bsky.social · last yr.Not all women are nurturing. Some shouldn’t be mothers. Some perform femininity while quietly resenting it. Matriarchy doesn’t force the performance. It watches who shows up & places them accordingly. I was raised in one. open.substack.com/pub/lovettej... #matriarchy #genderroles #neurodivergence
Call-out culture is not inherently toxic. Public shaming is a tool. So is community repair. The problem is most people have no framework for when to use either one, and no plan for what comes after. New essay on why I still believe in call-outs, Cont’ 1/2 ⤵️
"When someone says you don’t look disabled, they are seeing the output of an enormous amount of effort they had no access to. […] What they are not seeing is the cost of that functioning, or what follows it." By @lovettejallow.bsky.social: lovettejallow.substack.com/p/you-dont-l... #neurodiversity
You Don't Look Disabled Is Not a Compliment
What this phrase reveals about ableism, invisible disability, and why disabled people should not have to perform suffering to be believed
lovettejallow.substack.com
If you like my you can me here 👇🏾 at my second home where I produce essays, podcasts, voiceovers and video content too. By all means do become a paid subscriber so I can continue the work and also rest. open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...
You Don't Look Disabled Is Not a Compliment
What this phrase reveals about ableism, invisible disability, and why disabled people should not have to perform suffering to be believed
open.substack.com
“You don’t look disabled” is one of the most normalized forms of ableism. Here is why it causes harm. Invisible disability is still treated like a credibility problem. It should not be. If your understanding of disability only covers what you can see,that understanding is incomplete. #disability
The child gets diagnosed. The parent goes quiet. Then comes back and says: I think this is me too. This is not coincidence. Autism heritability: 83%. ADHD: 74%. An entire generation went undiagnosed. Their children are now in assessment waiting rooms. #autism 1/3
The child gets diagnosed. The parent goes quiet. Then comes back and says: I think this is me too. This is not coincidence. Autism heritability: 83%. ADHD: 74%. An entire generation went undiagnosed. Their children are now in assessment waiting rooms. #autism 1/3
London: craving offline autism community? I’m the special guest at The Rose Garden 2026 by theedenroseproject a sensory considerate day for autistic adults, parents, siblings, carers, educators & advocates. 📍 Arding Rooms, Clapham Junction 📅 Sat 7 March, 12-6pm Read more 1/3⤵️
"People misread our joy, our discomfort, our boundaries, then demand our children perform 'clear communication' on command." @lovettejallow.bsky.social describes the specific pressures on Black non-speaking autistic children and their families. #autism #BlackAndAutistic #neurodiversity
Lovette 🏳️🌈@lovettejallow.bsky.social · 8mo ago“Will my nonspeaking autistic child ever speak?” is a search-bar question. Under it sit two fears: fear for the child’s future, and fear of how family will interpret the child. Speech becomes proof of “good parenting.” The child becomes a performance. #autism #nonspeaking
“Will my nonspeaking autistic child ever speak?” is a search-bar question. Under it sit two fears: fear for the child’s future, and fear of how family will interpret the child. Speech becomes proof of “good parenting.” The child becomes a performance. #autism #nonspeaking
If calm love feels suspicious, your body is doing exactly what it was trained to do. Many of us learned “connection” through emotional turbulence. The nervous system adapts fast, it starts reading intensity as closeness, chaos as care, and steadiness as the moment before something breaks. Post 1/3:
Why do people make promises they don’t keep, then keep interacting like nothing happened? That silence is the second breach. This essay breaks down dopamine, image, and cost transfer, with autistic and ADHD context. Link: open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...
Have you ever had someone promise you something, disappear, then return like it was nothing? I wrote about broken promises, silence, and why “good intentions” mean nothing without repair. #Autism #ADHD #accountability. Read here: 👇🏾
Why People Make Promises They Don't Keep | Lovette Jallow
On broken promises, false generosity, extraction & why continued interaction without repair damages trust. Why ADHD doesn't excuse silence. By Lovette Jallow.
open.substack.com
🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨 Introducing my next patented design: the Butthole Washer™, engineered for MEN who want to be clean while needing reassurance that cleanliness can still look serious & not make anything gheyy or weird. Yes, it’s black & aggressively industrial. 1/2⤵️
a cartoon opossum says " you 're welcome " while giving a peace sign
ALT: a cartoon opossum says " you 're welcome " while giving a peace sign
media.tenor.com
🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨 It has officially been 12 months since I discovered that when men sit on the toilet… their junk just hangs in the bowl. Since that day, I have not known peace. I have lived with questions. I stared into the middle distance. I whispered, “Why would God design it like this?” 1/4⤵️
a man in a suit says let me finish the pitch in yellow letters
ALT: a man in a suit says let me finish the pitch in yellow letters
media.tenor.com
Autistics, gather round. Are we all rehearsing our gift-opening faces, or coordinating plausible excuses for why we suddenly cannot attend? Personally, I am considering faking an eye infection. I will provide written feedback once I am home and have opened the gift in private. #autism 1/2⤵️
"As I once calmly explained to a parent: Your child did not download autism from the cloud." @lovettejallow.bsky.social, on inherited autism and trauma, especially between mothers and daughter: lovettejallow.substack.com/p/autistic-d... #autism #neurodiversity #autistic
Why Autistic Daughters Often Go No-Contact with Their Mothers
Too many autistic daughters are cast as difficult when they were simply trying to survive unsafe mothers. Lovette Jallow explored parentification, survival roles, and the journey toward self-rescue.
lovettejallow.substack.com
🇸🇪🪖 One like = one thing Swedish military professionals (and nerds) love to say.
Mental health stigma is not a shield from accountability. Autistic people are tired of being labeled “unwell” for asking for the work we paid for. People prey on autistics and think we will be silent. Documentation is public now. @digitaldavina.bsky.social
Have you ever paid for work, ghosted, & then when you asked for accountability months later, you were told you’re “unwell” for expecting a refund? Many autistic’s know this pattern. Emotional closeness as cover. Mental health weaponised to avoid responsibility. Meet @digitaldavina.bsky.social
The Freelancer Who Weaponized Neurodivergence to Justify Taking Payment Without Delivering
How Davina Campbell of Digital Davina Designs disclosed mental health struggles to gain trust, then stigmatized mental health to silence accountability.
open.substack.com
I end most of my conversations with people at work this way. *reads article*
Lovette 🏳️🌈@lovettejallow.bsky.social · 12mo agoAutistic over-explaining isn’t always clarity we mask as conversation. New essay: the neuroscience of trauma loops, loops, workplace strategies, and practical tools to speak less without losing yourself. For anyone who ends every sentence with “you know what I mean?” Here’s what’s happening 👇🏾 1/2
