In production right now - Rocky XIII, where Rocky Balboa markets a sloping electric grill
Sanjeev Kohli
@govindajeggy.bsky.social
Navid in Still Game, Synthesiser Patel in Look Around You, Ramesh in @FagsMagsandBags, Martin in Dep Q and dynamite in a boob tube. Work enquires: MacCormick@Curtisbrown.co.uk
My ambition as a child was to be a blackjack dealer. (Although I would sell probably fruit salads as well)
I don't hate ALL of the periodic table. Just elements of it.
Most guitarists can only play the word 'chihuahua'. Jimi Hendrix could play 'terrier', 'alsatian' & 'Rhodesian Ridgeback”
Is it immature to snigger & point & say "you said diarrhoea"? Well yes. And I’ll be changing my GP
Sting runs a father-and-son barbers which caters to men of all ages. Don’t expect any chat though: "I do do dos, my da' does da's, that's all I've got to say to you"
I once got a blood transfusion by mistake. Which is why I'm now on the Jehovah's Witness protection programme
"Do biscuits go to heaven daddy?" "No sweetheart. What did you think jobbies were?"
I’m always reassured when I see that my food is “pan-fried”. I’d hate for it to be fried in a shoe or a dolphin or something
Last night a DJ saved my life. (To be fair she’s a cardio-thoracic surgeon who spins discs every second Tuesday as a side-hustle but the principle remains intact)
Today we fondly remember Russ Abbot, who, tragically, was vaporised on this day last year
Judging by the lyrics of The Joker, Steve Miller's Facebook profile is an AI picture of him in full ski outfit in front of the Alps
My favourite Scottish prog rock tribute band is probably Emerson, Loch & Palmer
I made the mistake of asking Dynamo "how's tricks?". That's five hours I won't get back.
When touring near Cornwall, Musical Youth would always plan their itinerary so that they could pass the Duchy ‘pon the left hand side
Your porn star name is the name of your first Virgil Van Dijk, followed by the Virgil Van Dijk where you grew up
Just baked my very first peasant insurgence cake. Have to say, it's very maoist
Got an interview with TRESemmé tomorrow. They must have liked my hmm hmm hmm resumé hmm hmm hmm
As his name would suggest, Charles Rennie Mackintosh invented cocaine, antacid tablets AND raincoats
It was Phil Oakey’s sister Carrie who invented the interactive entertainment system where people sing to a backing track. She called it the Singalonga3000
Wonderful news - the deaf leopard that Def Leppard were named after has FINALLY had a cochlear implant fitted. 56 year old Sushma just heard a river flowing for the first time
I never believed in the grammar school system. Go to a normal school. If you still want to do grammar, apply to a further punctuation college
Keith Harris & Orville DESPISED each other in the latter years. They had to record Orville's Song in different studios from each other
56 years since they formed & Aerosmith have yet to make a SINGLE Aero
Don't say you're naked. Say you're "wearing your nonesie"
I have a more basic model of the Samsung Galaxy called the Samsaid Twix
A global disaster was narrowly averted yesterday. An asteroid waa heading DIRECTLY towards the scissor factory. They managed to assemble the world's largest sheet of paper to encase it
Why are some pubs called 'theme pubs'? Surely all pubs are theme pubs? Unless you walk into The Red Lion expecting to meet a red lion
