There are a few things I simply don't get about this great country, but nothing, absolutely nothing, has prepared me for the insanity that are school parents' WhatsApp groups

Making a very brief return to this platform simply to say that I hate absolutely everything about how our transfer window is shaping up.

I've been posting football "content" over on the other side, and this one I like enough to share over here

A thread on these frauds from West Midlands

McLachBot@mclachbot.com · 9mo ago

Aston Villa have 33 points from 17 games. Their underlying numbers say they should have 18. That's a +15 point gap - the largest overperformance at this point of the season in recent Premier League history. Is this sustainable? Let's look at the data 🧵

If you want substantive critique, my substantive critique is that eigenvector centrality is somewhere between irrelevant and misleading in extremely small, fully connected networks like passing graphs and is probably highly correlated to just the number of passes a player made

That's not me having a go at you. Me having a go at you would be asking what university are you a professor at, so that I know which one to swerve for my kids education, because arrogance and ignorance is not a good combination for an educator.

So do I, buddy. So do I

I should start a substack. You can apparently get a decent following there calling yourself an analyst despite not understanding why p90 metrics are useful to analyse player performance

He has the second highest number of touches p90 in attacking third on Spurs. I don't think "rarely sees the ball" is supported by evidence. What is true is that he simply can't do anything when he has the ball because he's extremely light weight and gets easily muscled off it

One day, behavioural science will be advanced enough to explain how Morgan Rogers is considered by so many to be one of the best players in the league despite having a literal flaming pile of dog poop for statistical profile

This is a very dumb stat but guess which player in the premier league has the highest take on success rate with at least 7 attempted?

Fun stat to highlight both how good he's been and also the absolutely dire state of striker quality in the Premier League: Enzo Fernandez is currently 4th in the league in total NPxG (3.8). Not 4th amongst midfielders, 4th overall.

Garnacho against Wolves yesterday. Led the team in xA (1.26) and successful deliveries into penalty area (10) and provided relentless passing threat into dangerous areas.

NEW EPISODE! A bit later in the week than usual... but we got to talk about three games with the excellent @dmitry.mclachbot.com and ponder on the issue of our revolving centre backs. #CFC #ChelseaFC #TheChelseaPodcast #KTBFFH open.spotify.com/episode/60HF...

The Mixed Bag Episode

open.spotify.com

Anyway, here's a Claude AI generated list of all the players Chelsea have signed from Bundesliga since 2000, and I'll let you be the judge on how many of these actually turned out to be worth it.

Over the weekend someone pointed out to me that both Xavi Simons and Florian Wirtz have been found out as physically unusable in the premier league and I don't think it's exactly right. Wirtz actually had decent underlying numbers - he's xG+xA p90 is 0.44.

I don't really know what we're to do with the fact that Aaron Anselmino appears to both be very good and also literally made our of papier mache

I don't even have a picture for Panichelli in my database yet but the guy is putting up ridiculous numbers. Strasbourg aren't going to miss Emegha at all when he moves to Chelsea.

Tosin yesterday lost 3 out of 4 aerial duels in or near our penalty box yesterday, which is just brutal considering that being a tall guy who wins headers is his entire raison d'etre (Red triangle - aerial duel lost, green triangle - aerial duel won)

I cannot wait to see what kind of dumb shit this club tries to do tomorrow!

Baku away, lets go!!

Ok, this is the nerdiest thing I'll ever admit here, but I tried asking ChatGPT to run a D&D campaign for me acting as a DM... And it's pretty good?

If Manchester United do end up buying Sesko for £80m, they will have spent £210m on three attackers that outperformed their xG last season by a combined 16.5 goals. Zero red flags, no notes, would buy again.

This thread is absolutely fucking sending me

James Huntrods@jameshuntrods.bsky.social · last yr.

Zoopla's new AI room designer sure is something. Just look at this run-down living room. With a bit of TLC you could have... er... toilet stairs? Why have a window when you could have some lovely art? Like this picture of bricks!

Is there some other West End I'm not familiar with? Because the one I know, you can't turn without bumping into a huge group of tourists at 9 pm and much later.

Joel@itsjoels.bsky.social · last yr.

The idea that no one walks around the West End after nine pm is just absolute hokum.

Garnacho fan club assemble

My only take on the Sidney Sweeney "controversy" is that every time I see a photo of her, I am totally creeped out by her dead, soulless eyes.

Quantico Quaresma crying at home that he missed out on this.

Chelsea FC News@cfcnews.mclachbot.com · last yr.

Chelsea invited Trump to present the Club World Cup trophy after beating PSG. His unexpected lengthy presence confused players, while his son Eric stated Chelsea viewed it as an honor, despite players' mixed feelings. By Matt Debono. Sports Illustrated

Jorrel Hato pod is out. TL;DW/L good prospect for the role targeted, appropriately priced, nice work! Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/4WMD... Youtube: youtu.be/WLYcKq7jEIs

Should Chelsea Sign Jorrel Hato?

YouTube video by KierDoyle

youtu.be

"What the fuck is "Willis tower"?" - every Chicagoan everywhere, including those like myself who haven't lived there in a decade

✨Starry⭐️Darling✨@darlingstarling.bsky.social · last yr.

If you're getting ready to correct me about the "Willis Tower," please instead slap yourself in the teeth and/or nuts. Dealer's choice.