Emily
@emilybynight.bsky.social
writer, biker, dancer in the bay. editor at The Ick emilybynight.substack.com
Times of fragmentation call for a legible sense of order. We’re pleased to introduce the 02025 issue of Pace Layers, Long Now’s annual print journal of long-term thinking. It explores the ancient past and distant future of the present moment. A preview of what's inside ->
If anyone can teach us about the real-world consequences of cancel culture, it's @lydialaurenson.bsky.social For the season finale of The Ick, her essay brings down the house: www.emilybynight.com/p/how-i-got-...
How I Got Canceled by the Left and Right
What cancel culture reveals and conceals about redemption
emilybynight.com
what happens with the radical left kicks you out for being too radical? on The Ick: Kit reflects on fighting for sex worker rights in New Orleans, and the Marxists who turned their backs on her www.emilybynight.com/p/the-left-g...
How the Left Gagged on Sex Work
And dismantled a revolution
emilybynight.com
"hot girls have tummy issues" is a funny meme, sure...but when you learn that 90% of women with IBS also have an eating disorder the meme seems morbidly twisted
You Don’t Have IBS, You Have An Eating Disorder
But why not both?
emilybynight.com
what happens when a sidewalk fortune teller performs ego death on stage during an improv occult play? one of the greatest disaster stories of our time! New on The Ick: a story from @joetforhire.com that smashes the gas and doesn't let up www.emilybynight.com/p/the-idiots...
The Idiot’s Guide to Mystical Interactive Theater
A fortune teller's attempt at dramaturgy
emilybynight.com
Why do you hate the word "moist"? why do wet sounds like teeth-sucking, slurping, and swallowing evoke a sense of disgust and rage? @jakee.bsky.social explains in dazzling detail on The Ick... emilybynight.substack.com/p/the-moist-...
The 'Moist' Mind Virus: Why We Hate Wet Sounds
On misophonia and socially transmitted disgust
emilybynight.substack.com
I lived at an anarchist commune for 3 years and learned a lot about “going viral”. Here's a story in three plagues. Read my new piece in The Ick: open.substack.com/pub/emilybyn...
The Politics of Contagion
Dispatches from the immune system of a failed utopia
open.substack.com
Is "the ick" real? @etirabys.bsky.social investigated and found that women's icks fall into 3 main categories: 1. Raw fitness icks - manual dexterity, tool use (e.g. rolling dice off table, running into screen door) - cognitive inability (e.g. bad at spelling)
Why do men's feelings about motherhood often feel so idealistic and rigid? Why do they thought police the image of motherhood? what's going on? are men ok? Season 4 of The Ick kicks off today with an absolute banger from @eurydicelives.blogsky.venki.dev -> www.emilybynight.com/p/men-want-t...
Men Want to Be Sons, Not Parents
Your assumptions about motherhood give me the ick
emilybynight.com
my non-gardener friends never ask about my bone meal or NKP ratio - like do you even care about me
Thrilled to announce Season 4 of The Ick, featuring writing from @eurydicelives.blogsky.venki.dev, @jakee.bsky.social, @lydialaurenson.bsky.social, @ninatummyache.bsky.social, @deepfates.com.deepfates.com.deepfates.com.deepfates.com.deepfates.com + more surprise guests TBA!
starting a burlesque career in my late 30s, you can just do things
do you put your elbows on the table, heathen? www.emilybynight.com/p/why-no-elb...
Why No Elbows on the Table?
History of a not-so-arbitrary rule, plus updated guidance
emilybynight.com
Compliments you should give to strangers: Specific ✅ “Your tie and vest are so well-coordinated.” Related to taste/style ✅ “That book is my favorite—great choice.” No strings attached ✅ "You have such a warm smile!" said as you pass walking the opposite direction
We have tiny rocks (otoliths) in our inner ear canals that perceive acceleration and gravity They're literally rolling around in our heads helping us understand where the ground is!!
Can you ghost someone while also respecting their dignity? Here's my take: emilybynight.substack.com/p/how-to-ghost
How to Ghost
The modern break-up protocol
emilybynight.substack.com
I learned recently about the 5 dimensions of curiosity. It's a really interesting constellation of behaviors, not just the flat trait of "high openness" ->
My current beat: the intersection of AI and taste. Really fascinating insights came out this past week, here's what I've been reading:
Think you're "not good" at conversation? 4 findings from psychology studies you should know about: 1. "liking gap" illusion: most people are liked more than they know 2. we reliably *over* estimate the awkwardness & *under* estimate the happiness we'll feel after deep conversations w strangers
me, an apex predator, wearing a little raincoat? so humiliating
Conversation advice from Emily Post: "The joy of joys is the person of light but unmalicious humor" "but the man who has been led to believe that he is a brilliant and interesting talker has been led to make himself a rapacious pest"
This is very interesting, about the gaps we leave (or don't) when in conversation, and how that's a whole cultural thing, with big differences from one place to the next.
Emily@emilybynight.bsky.social · 2y agoStarting a new season about hidden social rules, starting with how to be better at conversation. Check it out: emilybynight.substack.com/p/how-to-be-...
tbh I would pay way more than a dollar and a half to go to the tree museum
If you're talking to someone who is loud, interrupts you, and never asks you questions - are they the asshole? Not necessarily. They were likely raised in an "interrupt" and "declarative" linguistic culture. Had a lot of fun researching and mapping different conversation styles for this article->
cinco de mayo is the perfect illustration of the American ethic: why learn history when drinking is more fun?
