My fiancé is drinking red wine that smells *precisely* like our daughter’s dance shoes 🙃 luckily, it tastes better than it smells.

My fiancé is drinking red wine that smells *precisely* like our daughter’s dance shoes 🙃 luckily, it tastes better than it smells.

FYI, this is like a cheat’s ceviche and it is really flippin’ tasty: www.cherrypick.co/recipes/zest...

Has anyone ever shipped (large, antique) framed artwork from the US to the UK? Would love to know what service you used if so…

Well thank FUCK for that.

Poor bastard’s starving

Couldn’t be a more different game to last night’s, could there? Shall we just declare that the final and be done with it? 🙃

Ally McCoist, when asked what the players will do in the extra long half-time break: “Probably the usual, sit down, chat with the lads, have a cup of tea…” Something adorable about him imagining professional athletes in the 2020s having a wee cuppa mid-match.

Oh man. I had the best HYDRATION BREAK pic, and didn't use it.

People talk about Everything Showers but once a week I do a whole Everything routine that’s become so intricate I need an actual checklist.

Speaking of weddings: I’m wearing scarlet red shoes to mine and you can’t stop me.

Me: “I’m gonna give the kitchen a quick once over, just run the hoover around and wipe the surfaces. Won’t take more than five minutes.” Also me, two minutes later: *cleaning out the toaster with a toothbrush*

another ABSOLUTE CORKER coming from Moonflower, even if we do say so ourselves…

Moonflower Books@moonflowerbooks.bsky.social · 3w ago

We are thrilled to announce our latest acquisition SNOW OR ASHES, a magical new "traumantasy" epic from London bookseller @lucyfishwife.bsky.social. www.moonflowerbooks.co.uk/news/moonflo...

When I retire (ha ha) I’m going back to bookselling. I miss it so much.

It was my birthday yesterday so I treated myself to a carpet shampooer. This is officially middle age, isn’t it?

Roy Keane’s reaction to England’s goals is truly the highlight of my World Cup 😍

“Score another one, that’s a good tactic.” They pay Lee Dixon for this nonsense, you know.

“Babe, I’m getting stressed. It’s just too much Norway.” (In my defence I’m a bottle of champagne in…)

Cancelled my birthday dinner out because neither of us would be happy to leave the dog alone tomorrow night even though she’s looking a lot better. So we’re hoing to stay in with Thai food and the football instead. England had better bloody win, I’m just saying.

I’ve come up with an idea for a book that I desperately want to read and now I can’t decide if I should try and write it myself or try and persuade one of the many brilliant writers I know to do it instead 🙃

Jude Bellingham should have had a second yellow and been off for that. He needs to go home until he can learn to control himself.

My (Irish) child was totally rooting for England on my behalf… right up until DRC scored. 🙃

Just finished up the pre-holiday ironing and I’ve never felt more like my mother. At least until the morning before we go when I clean out the fridge and wash out all the bins. 🙃

My child is now off school for the summer. For two months. Two. Full. Months. Send help. And activity suggestions.

Worried Kermit The Frog

ALT: Worried Kermit The Frog

static.klipy.com

England’s performance thus far not giving me a great deal of confidence for our ongoing hopes in this competition…

Harry Kane saying “oh my life” after that miss is *precisely* why he’s my favourite.

I’m the first to say that parenting is not the be all and end all of happiness – but I have to admit that there is no feeling like the one you get when you go to kiss you kid goodnight and they wake up just a little and smile this beamy, contented smile because they feel so safe & happy & loved. ❤️

I love the blackboard and chalk presentation. It’s the absolute opposite to AI slop.

I’m learning more about football from Emma Hayes in these hydration breaks than I have from any of the male commentators, like, ever.