Pitching a satellite radio station called “What Else? Comedy” to SiriusXM that just plays open mic sets comics have recorded on their phones that they’ve never even bothered listening to.

Must’ve been so crazy the first time a person met another person.

I feel like we would be much better off if civilization hadn’t progressed much past the phase where all human beings were ostensibly camping.

I think the whole world needs to sit down and enjoy a big, soft pretzel together. Give me the Nobel Peace Prize.

Why do I remember the name of an olympic pole vaulter from the 1980s? I'm better than AI.

The fact that our evil president is also dumb is the ultimate in adding insult to injury.

I hope the main symptom of the next plague is just takin' a cozy little nap.

Men shouldn’t have to fear consequences for them to respect women as human beings, BUT if you want to scare men into better behavior, mass-producing penis-sized guillotines isn’t a bad place to start.

My dad passed away 35 years ago today. If he were still alive, he’d be proud of me for being the hottest guy on Bluesky.

If anyone is selling discounted gasoline in a back alley in Van Nuys, let me know.

The feeling of questioning whether or not something is AI as part of its destruction of all visual art

Claude isn't the name of a helpful technology I need to use, it's the name of an ill-tempered French-Canadian longshoreman who hates my guts.

Is it me or are the people who invented social media kinda bad at social media? It’s almost as if it’s not for them, but it’s more of a way of taking up everyone else’s time and attention while they’re busy doing evil shit.

I wouldn’t say I’m getting old, but I am slightly more inclined to take the elevator now.

Idea: A “Little Shop of Horrors” remake where Mushnik’s is an appliance shop and the Audrey II is a Smart Refrigerator.

The entire goal of capitalism was to eventually get to a point where an iced tea would cost $6. Not really worth subjugating a large portion of humanity for, if you ask me.

It really is a huge flaw in human design that you can’t see or reach a large portion of your back.

Daily Affirmation: Repeat after me, “all of my dumb ideas are good dumb ideas.”

Hmm starting to see the flaw in entrusting our nuclear missiles to a computer.

Thomas Brewster@thomasbrewster.bsky.social · 3w ago

🚨NEW🚨 In an astonishing cyberattack, a Chinese-speaking hacker told AI agents powered by DeepSeek and Anthropic's Claude to go breach a bunch of retailers and hospitality companies. Within five days, the agents hacked 30+ websites and stole over 600,000 credit cards. www.forbes.com/sites/thomas...

Saw this ad thumbnail on my YouTube homepage and it felt pretty on the nose.

If you watch a football game now, they have these little "made possible by ChatGPT" analysis segments that aren't nearly as informative or entertaining as it was to watch John Madden drawing on the screen with a pen.

Digital immigrants are crossing the existential border to take our jobs.

Tilly Norwood agreed to be in my student film about an evil AI chatbot that wants to destroy the entertainment industry and the only thing that can stop her is a Bruce Willis impersonator (hoping to get Daniel Radcliffe for this role). It's called, "Die Hard Without Intellectual Property Rights."

Timeline Cleanse: I just painted this and I kinda like it!

You could never do an AI remake of The Princess Bride, because every character would be the "six-fingered man." It'd be too confusing.

Today is the first day I’ve ever had multiple thoughts about Ed Sheeran. Would not recommend.

I feel like the guillotine factory would be a great place to work. Management is probably under a lot of pressure to make sure the workers are always happy.

Ed Sheeran should’ve done the sensible thing and moved his shows to a smaller venue where less people would’ve been forced to hear his music.

Mitch McConnell has barricaded himself in his home and is telling police “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!”

Mitch McConnell will return to the senate tomorrow in a giant jar of formaldehyde.