What do you call a pessimistic waterfowl? A pelican't.

This visualization of daily activity of ICE is unreal.

I'd wait for you even longer than I'd wait for an airplane. #PickUpLines We, the collective we of the Greater Twin Cities and our allies, are at MSP this morning protesting the removal of our neighbors to facilities in other states and countries. #ICEOut #TwinCitiesStrong #MplsStrong

Liam Ramos just arrived home from preschool when he and his father were arrested and taken into custody by ICE agents. Enough is enough. ICE does not belong in our communities.

ICE detains five-year-old Minnesota boy arriving home, say school officials

Superintendent says Liam Ramos and his father were taken into custody while in their driveway and sent to Texas

theguardian.com

What did the igneous rock say when it was under pressure? Gneiss!

What's bad tequila made from? YUCK-a! #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor

19) The Stegosaurus dinosaur measured up to 30 feet long but had a brain the size of a walnut. Which means that the brain-to-body ratio is the same between a stegosaurus and most congressional committees. #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor #PoliticalHumor

I realized I needed to do my laundry when I found an archeological team carbon dating my underwear. #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor

Are you a beaver? Because DAM you're fine. #SciencePickUpLines #ScienceHumor

Are you chronic wasting disease? Because you make my knees weak. #ScienceJokes #SciencePickUpLines #ScienceHumor

There are 3 types of heat – radiation, convection, and conduction – and I burn for you in all of them. #SciencePickupLines #ScienceJokes

In a wolf meant to inspire With traits from an ancient dire Colossal has found A new kind of hound And an ethical quagmire #ScienceLimmerick

I was going to write a joke about Archimedes, but it didn't hold water. #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor

What did Einstein say when he discovered relativity? Euclidian me! #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor

What did the potato say to the worm? I got my eye on you! #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor

Deep under Antarctica's Taylor Glacier lives an ecosystem that has adapted to life without oxygen or light. These microbes are responsible for the bright red Blood Falls. They use iron and sulfur to breath, giving a whole new meaning to an Iron Lung. #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor

Tiny blackholes formed shortly after the Big bang could have been as small as an atom. Their larger, pocket-sized kin are likely still zooming though the universe. Which may explain where one of every pair of socks goes. #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor

The core of the earth is about 2.5 years younger than the crust. Does that mean we could get to the core of the earth and change the political timeline? (We can't. That's not how relativity works. Unfortunately.)

What's an arborists favorite math discipline? Trigonome-TREE! #ScienceHumor #ScienceJokes #BadJokes

What did the lentil say to the flower when it bloomed? Bean there, done that. #ScienceHumor #ScienceJokes #BadJokes

If you throw a microscope at a telescope, they might kaleidoscope.

Train locomotives change chemical energy from fuel into kinetic energy for motion. You must be an engine because our chemistry could be motion all night long. #ScienceJokes #ScienceHumor #ScienceWriting #SciencePickUpLines #Trains

What did one botanist say to the other? SEEd you later. #ScienceHumor #ScienceJokes #BadJokes

Duo the Duolingo Owl is dead. Maybe he was infected with a malware virus. Or got Avian Flu. #Duolingo #Humor

Lightning passing through air can reach 500,000 F, which is still only about half as hot as you. #ScienceHumor #SciencePickUpLines