Frazzled Humor
@frazzledhumor.bsky.social
Humor That Hits Home - medium.com/frazzled
We recently ventured to a Wisconsin Dells hotel that featured a water park, conceived by crazed designers, with major input from 10-year-olds who obviously had overactive imaginations. medium.com/frazzled/a-l...
A Lazy Woman Goes Up a Lazy River
Featuring one lazy river, two teenagers, and one woman who should have just taken them for ice cream
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Recently I’ve gone from never having heard the term “dad bod” to hearing it frequently. Admittedly I’m a bit slow on the uptake on this one, but my understanding is that “dad bod” is meant to mean “bad bod”. medium.com/frazzled/the...
The Dad Bod Monologues
First we exercise. Then we drink beer.
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The One Where Your Daughter Wears the Crop Top You’re sitting in the car. Motor running. Your daughter runs back inside for one more thing… medium.com/frazzled/bac...
Back to School Anxiety Dreams: Parental Edition
What if your dreams grew up with you?
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Wow, that kid looks like he has no parents. How awesome. By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/wha...
What I Think My 13-Year-Old Wants Other 13-Year-Olds to Say About Him
Neglect is trending!
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COURT: This court will come to order. Counsel, you may proceed with your cross-examination of the witness. COUNSEL: It is 7:15 in the evening. Is it not time for bed? medium.com/frazzled/tra...
Transcript from the Cross-Examination of a Six-Year-Old Who Insists It Is Not Yet Bedtime
COURT: This court will come to order. Counsel, you may proceed with your cross-examination of the witness.
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It’s 11 PM on a Tuesday night at the beginning of the school year. I’ve been filling out parental permission slips, waivers, and liability releases for you kids over the last few hours. medium.com/frazzled/i-s...
I Signed 57 School Waivers Tonight and May Have Accidentally Enlisted My Child in the Navy
There’s no telling what I agreed to in an 11 PM fugue state
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My daughter is on her 35th lap of the kitchen island while my husband chops one cucumber into precise two-inch cubes, and I attempt tofu rice bowls that don’t taste like dog shit... By @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/we-...
We Are a Family of Sex Perverts
But only at night
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A father sits at his kitchen island with an image of Sisyphus pushing his boulder on his laptop screen. His 7-year-old daughter walks up to take a look. “What’s that, Daddy?” “Hey my girl. That’s a dude called Sisyphus.” medium.com/frazzled/sev...
Seven-Year-Old Solves the Problem of Sisyphus
And gives some important advice to her teacher father
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Okay, here’s the deal. I’m looking for something kind of like a “mother’s helper.” You don’t need to be a highly qualified nanny. I’ll do all the child-minding parts. You just have to be willing to play. Non-stop. medium.com/frazzled/hel...
Help Wanted: Professional Playground Assistant
No, I don’t need a babysitter; I just need a break from Pretend Play
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We dropped my 10-year-old daughter off at this week-long camp last month... medium.com/frazzled/we-...
We Dropped Off My Daughter at Chick-Fil-A Christ the King Church Camp
My Pleasure
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On a sizzling Labor Day in suburban Chicago, when even mosquitoes are sweating, I want to be in (a) air conditioning, (b) water, (c) Siberia. medium.com/frazzled/the...
The Parade Where I Melted for a Four‑Year‑Old
Because if Grandma skips one event, her grandchild will be in therapy till college
medium.com
It’s easy. Choose a movie and watch it through the Mom-Sense Media app. Worried it’s too long? The app can condense the movie so it’s 33 minutes By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/how...
How I, a Mom, Would Like to Improve My Movie Watching Experience
Presenting the Mom-Sense Media App!
medium.com
Kinda chic for you and your newborn to both be in diapers. By @katiemick.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/kin...
Kinda Chic to Be Postpartum
Kinda chic for you and your newborn to both be in diapers.
medium.com
Bad Decision #1: Cleaning out a garage in Florida during the summer. The end of summer is a blur of bad weather and worse decisions. By @aknott21.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/how...
How a Series of Bad Decisions Can Lead to Humiliation at the Used Sporting Goods Store
Catastrophe lurks behind the forgotten electric scooter
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Oh, my sweet child. Are you about to make a bad choice? You know there will be a consequence for negative behavior. medium.com/frazzled/i-d...
I Don’t Ground My Kids — I Hold Them Hostage With Eye Contact and Gentle Life Lessons
I have a 30-minute monologue, and I’m not afraid to use it
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Admittedly, I’m no expert on goldfish. But you don’t have to be a zoologist to know goldfish are the same shade of orange. medium.com/frazzled/if-...
If I Can’t Tell The Difference Between The Dead Goldfish And The New One I Replaced It With…
They all look the same, right?
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In an age when the fragile minds of young heirs can be easily corrupted by the appeal of fratricidal fighting, kingdom-wide warfare, or dragon-back combat, the Citadel’s Archmaesters have devised these Four Sacred Norms to ensure proper royal upbringing. medium.com/frazzled/the...
The Anxious Generation of Targaryens
A royal decree on the great rewiring of the young blood of the dragon
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So Mom or Dad, I’d love to peruse this human anatomy book made for children. I’m not sure if you bought it or if it came from a relative. It’s colorful, and it may or may not light up depending on the battery situation. medium.com/frazzled/im-...
I’m 4 Years Old and I Can Only Fixate on Aspects of Anatomy That Make My Parents Uncomfortable
Sorry, I don’t make the rules
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Transportation Pick your poison: Travel stroller, reversible seat stroller, two-seater wagon, or Little Tikes Princess Cozy Coupe. medium.com/frazzled/my-...
My Daughter’s Review of the Land Between Baby and Toddlerhood
As reviewed in Condé Nast Toddler
medium.com
House hunting on TV is a magical experience. In just 30 minutes, minus commercials, ordinary people tour three homes, reject two for reasons ranging from “I hate the wallpaper” to “The dog won’t like it..." medium.com/frazzled/how...
How to Find a House in 30 Minutes or Less
Budgets, backyards, and Boeing, plus Gloria the dog and her “mother” guarantee nothing goes easily
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It’s August and parents like you across the country are waking up — one glorious hour later — and exclaiming, “Oh my, summer has flown by and school starts in a week.” medium.com/frazzled/bac...
Back-to-School Essentials for Your Socially Elite Child
These aren’t wants, their socially needed
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BASED ON A TRUE STORY!
Frazzled Humor@frazzledhumor.bsky.social · last mo.It sounds like an insurrection in the kitchen. The kids and I sit paralyzed in the living room listening to Dad locked in mortal combat with a crusty casserole pan. We hear grunts, squeaks, and stifled cries for mercy. By @leannehope.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/the...
The title of this story is the first line of a very real text I sent my husband. medium.com/frazzled/i-a...
I Am Un-Showered With Very Yellow Pee
On solo parenting and chaos
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I’ve always aspired to have, as the youth call it, main character energy, but by any objective measure, I’ve fallen well short of my goal. Until now. By @aknott21.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/im-...
I’m the Main Character at My Neighborhood Dunkin Donuts
I knew I was destined for fame
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I hated Dick and Jane! For those who don’t remember, they were the title characters in our early school books. Their stories featured a nuclear family: Mother, Father, Dick, Jane, and Sally, plus Spot the dog and Puff the cat. The family had no last name. medium.com/frazzled/i-h...
I Hated Dick and Jane!
The sanitized family story, retold by someone who knew better
medium.com
Dear President Poopypants (that’s what Grandma calls you): I hear you signed a new Executive Order regarding childhood vaccinations, stretching the combined measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine out into three separate shots. By @bladefunner.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/a-t...
A Toddler’s Letter to the President Regarding More Vaccinations
After all, it’s my butt on the line
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I’m glad we could get together to catch up, but I have to explain something—I never want to hear about your kid unless they’re co-starring in something with A-list talent. medium.com/frazzled/ple...
Please Don’t Tell Me About Your Kid
I’m speaking for all of us
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The man who discovered the body’s “fight or flight” reaction clearly had never seen a child. medium.com/frazzled/an-...
An Updated “Fight or Flight” Response Theory for Exhausted Parents
We’re getting too old for fighting or flighting
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