Brilliant letter from Stuart Thompson to Jeremy Clarkson about his comments that benefit claimants should write weekly thank you letters to tax payers detailing how they spend their benefits each week.
I think it took me until now.
Buzz Lightyear: No Sign of Intelligent Life
Alt: Buzz Lightyear speaks into his wrist communicator: ‘There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere’.
static.klipy.com
fesshole 🧻@fesshole.bsky.social · last wk.It took me an embarrassingly long time to realise that the bloopers in Toy Story 2 had been deliberately animated like the rest of the film and weren't an indication that the characters were sort of real.
If it goes ahead as suspected, Number 10 North will be built where Mol and Zig used to buy bubble mixture.
Please share- The @burylitfest.bsky.social is running a writing competition for children with some great prizes! www.burylitfest.co.uk/childrens-cr...
Children's Writing Competition 2026 | Bury St Eds Lit Fest
Bury St Edmunds Literature Festival’s Creative Writing Competition returns for 2025 welcoming entries from writers of all ages and experience with any forms of creative writing be it short story, micr...
burylitfest.co.uk
They say there’s no such thing as a job for life but the head of customer services at Principality Building Society is called Vicky Wales, so.
All I will say about what just happened is that had I lived and died as someone who’d never tried to fizz up flat beer in a sodastream I would’ve felt sad.
Pick up the nearest book, turn to p. 42, and post the second sentence: “She looked at him nobly.” @lissakevans.bsky.social
Nicola Miller@nicmiller.bsky.social · 2mo agoPick up the nearest book, turn to p. 42, and post the second sentence: "They both, he noticed sympathetically, had white faces, fatigued faces, and they both had big eyes, fatigued eyes."
Over 21,000 signatures already! Please help get it to 25,000 today! Women living metastatic breast cancer are dying before their time, lets help them access the life extending drug #Enhertu action.breastcancernow.org/sign-petitio...
GIVEAWAY! Dead Weight is coming out next week and to celebrate I'm giving away two copies that have been personally bitten by Uggi and will be personally signed by me and shipped to the winners wherever they live! To enter just like and share this post and I'll select the winners on May 26th!
My insta feed has filled with massive kitchen ice cream makers that do a whippy. If you want to flog me a machine the approximate size of an ice cream van, at least throw in four wheels and Match of the Day chimes. Or Greensleeves, I’ll take Greensleeves.
Happy Sunday breakfast, all (and all welcome). I admit to buying 10kg of dried mealworms at a time from an independent. I will mumble the order’s frequency.
ginfw@ginfw.bsky.social · 3mo ago14 jackdaws just turned up in my little garden, for their mealworm tea. Started with 3 at breakfast a couple of weeks ago. Add to that the full stereophonic workshop of a couple of dozen first brood starlings, and the blackbird, sparrow and dunnock usual suspects. No thrush or robin though. 🌱🦉🌿🐦⬛
14 jackdaws just turned up in my little garden, for their mealworm tea. Started with 3 at breakfast a couple of weeks ago. Add to that the full stereophonic workshop of a couple of dozen first brood starlings, and the blackbird, sparrow and dunnock usual suspects. No thrush or robin though. 🌱🦉🌿🐦⬛
Cake forks are far better at lifting borage seedlings from between patio slabs than they are at forking cake. You can have that one for free, Spear and Jackson. 🌼🌱
I still love the theory a Year 6 child proposed to me that David Attenborough is actually God and he got fed up with people not noticing the amazing things he'd created, so he made documentaries to show off.
Reform is a protest party. A protest against decency, integrity, kindness, expertise, and progress. It's a party of pettiness and hate, and it is made up of petty and hateful people from the grassroots to the very top. What it doesn't have is competence. So good luck with the bins and potholes.
Anyone need a single train ticket from Liverpool to London at 20:43 tomorrow (Sunday)? Boost so it can get used 😉
Absolutely this. I lent them my vote; they slapped me in the face. Fool me once, Labour.
Paul Bernal@paulbernal.bsky.social · 4mo agoThis is simply not true. Labour didn’t have to go right. They *chose* to go right. The big majority was a chance to reset everything back to sanity. Starmer chose the mad, bigoted, ignorant and dishonest route instead.
Disabled people, what would be satisfying enemies to punch or shoot in a video game set in the year 3000?
This shit has been driving me insane. None of the major papers or politicians discuss this calculated contradiction in terms designed to drive us all into early graves. 'You must work' but 'We won't help you stay in work or enforce discrimination laws'.
The Canary@thecanaryuk.bsky.social · 4mo agoDWP forcing disabled people into work - but no plan for Access to Work increase Just as the DWP is hell-bent on forcing disabled people into work, it's also quietly cutting Access to Work. Make it make sense says @rachelcdailey.bsky.social www.thecanary.co/uk/analysis/...
On Monday daughter turned 30. Today she asked me to generate a PAC code so she can leave the family mobile phone plan.
a man with curly hair and glasses is holding a cat 's hand and saying `` free bird '' .
Alt: Napoleon Dynamite signs a bird flying away with his hands. Text reads ‘Free Bird’
media.tenor.com
Just off the mum’s day call. To nobody’s peace of mind, tiny mum watches a lot of telly news. Quote of the call, in broad Suffolk, “I heard we ev a month of oil reserves… well, that’s ain’t gunna last five minutes…”
Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work. “Fucksake, Gareth.”
Lucy Antal aka Grab Your Spoon@lucyantal.bsky.social · 5mo agoWithout naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work. “Easier to buy a vape than an apple.”
I’d be the worst vengeful ghost ever. My strategy with people I dislike is to ignore them. Catch a glimpse of nothing at all in the rearview mirror? Let that be a lesson. Thermostat a steady 20c? Wooo, haunted bitch. Had a peaceful, uninterrupted night’s sleep? KNOW YOU ARE FEELING MY WRATH.
More than a bit enchanted by first ep of Small Prophets. Want to live next door to Michael, buy his house and keep him safe. Man needs a preservation order, like a tree. The bugs and beasts our combined gardens would welcome. Not a metaphor.
We call Dewi, my daughter’s rescue, as black and as quicksilver as the small dragon, and made of chaos and clever and love, Toothless for this very reason.
Dynasty Dave@dynastydave.bsky.social · 6mo agoJust watched How To Train Your Dragon. Toothless is like a rescue dog.
Lots of people asking how to easily search the Epstein files. The DOJ search is rubbish. Other public searches don't have all the documents. Here are the instructions (for Linux). Anyone with moderate technical ability can do this within an hour or so. github.com/DanNeidle/ep...
buff.ly
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, post the second sentence. That man he wants a lot.