Every time we have a staff meeting, I want to quit for about 48 hours after.

I’m sorry, but Justin Long measuring sq footage to add to his listing of the house in Barbarian is so fucking funny.

Story time! In undergrad school #1, my bff was a grad student I met through my roommate. We connected because her recent ex-fiancé hit on me in a spectacular fashion and through the True Crime powers of women, deduced he had done so in the apartment they shared with all her furniture still in it.

a week ago I looked in the mirror and my eyes looked way more hooded than usual, especially my left. I thought, well, that’s it. Weight gain and age. Can’t afford upper bleph surgery so this is how I’m gonna look for a while. Been kinda down all week about it, Y’all, I have an eye infection 😂

My rich, white, suburban hs reunion party date was just announced so I’m responding to my peers’ MAGA posts on fb with a storm of hellfire so they breathe a audible sign of relief when I don’t show up at the reunion.

I just realized that though I hang with all the younger folks at work, my work bestie is the 75 year old PhD having male with from Louisiana that skips breakfast and lunch so he can eat cheesecake every night. No regrets.

Ugh

Been lazy ever since I broke my elbow. Found out there is a chance I’ll see somehow I fucking hate in the next year. Started working out again today. Petty is a powerful motivation.

Rob Delaney is so good in the first episode of Furious (Hulu).

I don’t know exactly how to explain this, but we stayed at the Seelbach Hotel In Louisville and it was beautiful and then I found out it inspired writing of The Great Gatsby and I was somehow offended that F. Scott Fitzgerald and I appreciated the same building. Anyway, he sucks.

Good thing I have a son who relies on me because if not, I’d put it all on the line for a Snickers bar today, food allergies be damned.

Commentary from Chris Sanders with @tnequality.bsky.social. Missing RuPaul's Drag Race? Looking for your next drag fix? Look no further than Tennessee's 6th Congressional district Republican primary.

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What is wrong with me that I cannot get rid of my stank face today? Everything is fine, but I am just a bit foul anyway

I really need this grocery order to arrive *just* before my husband my husband gets home so he has to help me bring it in. I may offer the driver to circle the block for an extra tip.

I can’t stop sweating. How tf long are hot flashes supposed to last. This shit in a TN summer when I need to finish mowing the lawn is the work of Satan. Hell cannot be this hot

The secret to getting along and co-parenting with your ex-spouse can be shared intent on kids thriving, but Ngl, it helps a ton if that mf is funny af.

Yes! My big dog will take my spot on the couch with a pillow and blanket and I just want to bring her a tea and a snack because clearly she is a human

GoldieRise FKA ChampagneLife@goldierise.bsky.social · 2w ago

Why is it so cute when your dog uses a pillow or a blanket? Its like 'awww your little brain wanted something soft to lay on"

Today we pull our shoulders back and confidently fuck this Monday up!

Woke up to coffee prepped to start, a full tank of gas, and husband making a Costco list that he will fulfill himself. The bar may be in hell, but he is pole-vaulting over it this morning.

I totally misread a recipe today and ate an ungodly amount of soy sauce. Am now bloated like a blimp.

Something in this house smells like dog pee and I can’t find it and I may lose my mind.

A dude at work told me I’m just “one of the dudes” and not “one of the women that complains and has drama all the time” and maaaan, yeah, sur, whatever, I’ve got “masculine energy” , but that’s because I fuck dudes like this mf up for funsies. Its actually giving queen, not one of the boys 🤴

the last 25 minutes or so of THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER are magnificent. the highest tier of hollywood action filmmaking.

I can’t tell if I’m sweating because my stomach hurts or if I’m having a hot flash. Maybe both.

Should I wake up my husband to tell him Lindsay Graham died? Would celebrating be better after a full night’s sleep or will he sleep better the next few hours knowing?

RIP Bonnie Tyler. And RIP Tandi Iman Dupree. This remains the best stage entrance by a drag queen of all time, even some 25 years later, and the best use of Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero” ever. youtu.be/IHQA5vqn6rw?...

Lindsey fucking Graham

Peace Out Bye Felicia

Alt: Toodaloo motherfuckers

static.klipy.com

Dan Diamond@ddiamond.bsky.social · 4w ago

Emergency personnel responded to a call at Graham's home on Saturday night, and later said the man was suffering from cardiac arrest, per police scanner audio obtained by The Post.

I just made a long ass thread and I think I did it wrong, but I don’t even care. It was cathartic as hell to speak my truth

Real friends deliver hamburgers and whiskey at 1 pm because fuck today.