Tessera

Haus of Decline

@hausofdecline.bsky.social

Hank of Decline Website - hausofdecline.ca Patreon - http://patreon.com/hausofdecline Store - https://hausofdecline.bigcartel.com/

4168 Posts266877 Follower 665 Folgt

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 2h ago

There is a deranged looking man covered in blood, holding a bloody sack and breathing heavily. Two other men pass by. One says "hey man, we're gonna call 911." The bloodied man says "steamed hams." The man who was about to call the police says "oh shit. you know The Simpsons? Never mind. you're cool."

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · yesterday

Lost episode of Arthur. Arthur's dad brings in a shambolic man wearing sunglasses and also rendered with little ears. Arthur's dad says "Arthur, meet your great uncle, LOU Reed." Lou Reed says something that is [redacted]. Arthur is shaken to his core.

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 2d ago

Dating in my 30s. Alex says to a distressed woman "I am not going to be mommy." Alex starts punching herself in the head and repeating "I am NOT going to be mommy." She grumbles for a second as her partner anticipates her response. Alex finally relents shamefully, saying "fine... I'm mommy." Her partner looks overjoyed.

Matthew Story @mattstorymusic.bsky.social · 3d ago

As someone who is regularly paid money to play the guitar, it's always very humbling when I find out someone I recognize for doing non-guitar things can do things with a guitar that I can't do.

Haus of Decline@hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

Ty Schalter @tyschalter.com · 3d ago

i’m sorry did we know alex haus of decline can fucking play? like for real??

Haus of Decline@hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

"Birthday Girl" Ella Tailor @garaktailor.com · 3d ago

She is so good at this. fucking hell.

Haus of Decline@hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

Benjamin Boles @benjaminboles.bsky.social · 3d ago

I feel confident saying that I will never be able to play guitar like this

Haus of Decline@hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

They Call Me Doctor Mae @dr-maeforrest.bsky.social · 3d ago

Good God, I am surprised the guitar didn't catch on fire. Absolute talent.

Haus of Decline@hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 3d ago

just one of the most talented people around, guitar chops to get real jealous about

Haus of Decline@hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

Playing a song for you to advertise my show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern in Toronto Ontario.

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

New podcast up! I am joined by Annie and Max from the hilarious and poignant Rock n' Roll band, Ceippo! We discuss queer identity informing musical choices, the power of Anime, and the artistry of Elvin Jones.. Come to our show on August 12 at Dina's Tavern! hausofdecline.ca/podcast

Rock n Roll Band CEIPPO with music flowing thru their ears

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 3d ago

A Soccer Ball, basketball, and baseball angrily exclude an American Football. The soccer ball says "get the hell outta here American Football... you're not even a sphere." American football sits dejected on the side of the road. A hockey puck comes up to him and says "don't worry football. we can be friends." American football says "sorry hockey puck, but I fucking hate you."

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 4d ago

Today has been two years on HRT. Very happy with the results

Alex Haus of Decline pre transition. Bearded, glasses, dead eyes

Alex Haus of Decline post transition in red shirt and daisy dukes. Kinda cunty with it

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 4d ago

A man says "before we fuck, please consult the consent puppet" Another man asks the puppet "do you consent to sexual relations?" The puppet crumples its mouth like nervous Kermit. It then exuberantly shouts YAAAAAA, opening its mouth wide.

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 4d ago

Two young toughs, one smoking a cigarette, are standing under a sign that says "Gatekeeping Club." One says to a passer-by
"pfft, nice Ramones shirt, poseur." The other one says "quick! name five of their albums." Another man, enamoured with their antics comes up behind them and asks "hey fellas! can I join gatekeeping club?" The first gatekeeper says "absolutely!" The second gatekeeper says "the more, the merrier!"

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 5d ago

New comic on Patreon! www.patreon.com/hausofdeclin... Subscribe to see the full comic! Also subscribe to sign my petition to get Martha Graham dances included in Fortnite.

Peter sleeps next to Diane, his giant insect body taking up most of the bed.

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 5d ago

2015: A stereotypical hupster dressed in Buddy Holly glasses, moustache, beanie and plaid shirt encounters an older man who says "you lazy Millennials don't wanna work. The man leans in close to the Millennial and says "all you wanna do is avocado toast." The Millennial thinks to himself "I swear to God, when I'm in my thirties, I'm gonna be more charitable to Young People.

2025: The Millennial now in his thirties says "yeah, every zoomer I've ever met is a braindead piece of shit." A woman in an Animal Collective T-shirt nods in agreement.

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 6d ago

A man says "I drew a picture." Another man reviews it and says "hey, that's great!" He then tosses it behind him on a large pile of indistinct garbage. We zoom out to see that the gigantic pile of garbage towers above them. It has a big sign on it labelled "content."

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 7d ago

BARP

Alex Haus of Decline's face at extreme unflattering angle

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · last wk.

A woman runs off a cliff. Her friend points and states "you've gona and run off the cliff..." The first woman, floating in midair says "that's OK. This is a cartoon." With confidence, she points to herself with her thumb and says "if I don't look down I won't fall." An incredibly low flying plane trockets by and sucks her into the jet engine, spewing viscera out the back with a BZZZZZZHHH much to the other woman's horror.

lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · last wk.

say what you will about AI, always-on voice recording and auto dictation has been a game changer for my workflows. Save post and close app. Yeah Footlong meatball sub on white. No veggies. Don't toast it. Ranch and barbecue sauce. Yeah, ranch and bargecue sauce. More. More. Little more please

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · last wk.

Alex says "man, the world is such an unjust place." She gets to work constructing a weird little guy and says "I'm fabricating a fucked up little sculpture to express my feelings..." Another woman passes by and says "hey, that's cool. You wanna join me volunteering at the food bank?" Alex says "Pass. I'm really exhausted from making the sculpture."

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · last wk.

Trying to cultivate fanbase of alcoholics so that bars are extra motivated to book my band

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · last wk.

Tycho from Penny Arcade says "Gabe I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna finally suck your cock." Gabe says "Well I would love that, but I died three years ago." Tycho reaches out and Gabe's ethereal form wisps into nothingness. Tycho sheds a single tear and shouts "nooooo..." He turns his head toward the heavens in anguish and laments "I never got to suck his cock."

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · last wk.

As long as we're descending into a seedy, unwholesome reality of omnipresent casinofication, can we please bring back smoking in restaurants?

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · last wk.

Then... Boy Alex, bearded and in a hoodie says "hi mom, it's nice to see you!" Alex's mom says "Alex, you're so handsome. Why do you dress like a schlub?"

Now... Girl Alex says "Hi mom, it's nice to see you." Alex's mom says "eh... too much lipstick. What are you? A slut?"

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 2w ago

A trans woman asks another trans woman "why do our conversations always descend into tranny Seinfeld bits?" The other trans woman says "that reminds me, I got politely "they"-ed yesterday." The first one replies "They gave you the polite "They." In Costanza-like fashion the second one says "they gave me the polite "they!"

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 2w ago

A Jewish Man and Italian man congregate. The Jewish man says "time to finally sign this binding agreement between Jews and Italians." The agreement reads as follows "Agreement between all Jewish and Italian peoples. 1. We can play each other in movies/TV. 2. We're weird about our mothers. 3. Joint custody of Macho Man Randy Savage." They both sign the agreement. Macho Man Randy Savage comes up behind both of them, embraces them warmly and says "ooh yeeah."

Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 2w ago

Alex notices a Trans Woman across the street and thinks to herself "Egad! Another Trans woman in the wild!" She takes a bow-legged crouching stancing and puts her index and middle fingers to her forehead a la Piccolo's Special Beam Cannon. She think to herself "I shall psychically communicate solidarity with her." The other woman notices Alex from across the street and thinks to herself "hey, it's that bitch from the internet I hate."