network torpedo
@ingr.own.baby
To goon, perchance to cum—ay, there's the rub: For in that hypnostate what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause—there's the respect That makes a mess of so long a sesh.
You need to make a flyer? Just use Pixelmator. Literally do it with Freeform. Make it in Affinity. Literally just try Krita. You can probably do it in Photopea. Dude try Canva. AddText can do it. You can download GIMP. Download GIMP right now. Dive into GIMP. You can GIMP it. GIMP can do it for you.
AppleTV sucks so fucking hard at sports notifications it's insane. No notification that a soccer game or a race is starting, it only ever sends a notification to tell me shit is ending in 10 minutes. Why would I want to watch the last 10 minutes???
FYI no one ever wants to hear about a podcast you just listened to. Keep that shit to yourself.
Overheating, undereating since midsummers eve, watering the flowers so they'll make it when I leave
It's so embarrassing when a book for babies that is obviously attempting to rhyme just totally butchers one. Shoes and house don't rhyme, dawg. How tf you sayin "house" to make it sound like shoes?
We want to entertain a billion people a day. There should be an Xbox in every house. We want to replace schools with Minecraft. Master Chief should visit my house and give me a little kiss on the nose.
Kinda fucked up that the only candles America gets for her birthday are Roman
I think we should legally define the word "soon" in terms of businesses opening. I think if you're "Coming Soon" for more than three months you should get a geometrically increasing fine for every subsequent week.
podcasts shouldn't be videos, but i'd posit that many podcasts shouldn't be audio either
Put a bike bell on the stroller so I can ding at inconsiderate people who just stand around in the walkway
Guy who is confused about semen retention and just has labeled jars full of semen that he has collected from various sources on his bookshelf
Did Mike Rowe do a salmon semen collection episode of Dirty Jobs?
Guy who collects salmon semen with the device the Israeli government uses to harvest the semen of dead soldiers
Mormon guy who won't let his girlfriend have a sip of his dirty soda because it's against his religion
Guy in a suit jacket and loafers, skinny jeans rolled up to display his bare ankles
Jesus began his carpentry career making anti-homeless designs for the Nazarene public benches
YOU - “Lamby looks soft.” LITTLE LILY - “Yes. Very soft.” Suddenly she pushes the stuffed animal toward your face. YOU - “I don't deserve it. I'm scum.”
Freedom boy child or Communism girl child?
Disco Elysium Quotes@discoelysiumbot.bsky.social · 4mo agoYOU - “I need to go to the children, Kim. Girl Child Communism. Boy Child Freedom.” KIM KITSURAGI - “You mean we should do that *right now*, don't you?” the lieutenant asks, his usually even tone wavering slightly. “Can that be done *after* the murder investigation?”
If you order your latte half-sweet everyone is chill but if you order it triple-sweet everyone looks at you like a martian smh
I know a lot of people really love Mistborn and I enjoyed the first book (just started book 2) but I feel like the worldbuilding only makes sense in a world where women don't enjoy sex.