Me high as fuck in your backseat cueing up 45 minutes of Whose Lines best ofs: gimme the aux
I will be keeping track of every piece of media I consume in 2026 as one giant thread
“New year new Me” I say as I throw myself down a flight of stairs giving me irreparable brain damage
If I was Master Splinter I would’ve named them Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer
I’m already listening to Christmas music because Mariah Carey never wrote a thanksgiving fuck jam
Welcome to my haunted house. They say years ago, in this very spot where you're standing, my father's hopes and dream for me died. If you listen closely, you can hear them say "Law School is still an optiooooooon"
“Do you mind if I turn on some music?” “Sure” *turns on MARIO KART WORLD EVERY SPOOKY SONG PLAYLIST*
It is time again to post about @podzooky.bsky.social, my podcast about Kaiju media and silly discussions of such things. It's spooky season so we had on returning champ @jamiecarbone.bsky.social to talk about Sector 7 and lifting the Power Rangers Turbo Movie ban podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/p...
Podzooky
TV & Film Podcast · Updated Monthly · Three dumb idiots talk about the biggest lizard idiot who shoots dumb radiation out of his dum dum face.
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Her: I need a real eater Me thinking about that time I got kicked out of a Chinese buffet: hey
Ghosting is for cowards I need you to be brutally honest about what you don’t like about me
Person who has diarrhea at a rate unheard of in modern science so they rename it after them
Guy who constantly says “big things coming” but he just means his impending divorce
Juno ruined how a whole generation of white people talked
Nice joke you wrote there, be a shame if I took it completely seriously
The five literary conflicts: - Man vs Man - Man vs Self - Man Vs Nature - Man vs Food - The Monstars have stolen the powers of famous NBA players and Michael Jordan has to stop them
Nurse: Are you ready for your circumcision? Your doctor is almost here Me: Yes *mr bean enters* Me: oh no
I gave him a Meyers Briggs test and Tony Hawk got Extra Vert
Her: Tell me what you’re into Me: Being paid a livable wage Her: No like…what’s something that specifically pleases you? Me: Cheap rent?
My dad: Hey when you keep texting “I want to get Challengers’d this summer” in the family group chat, what does that mean? Me high as fuck in the burnt down k-mart parking lot: what
*getting on one knee outside the Taco Bell* these last three weeks have been a Baja blast
As a child I thought the Sonic the hedgehog drowning music was the most stressful thing I’d ever encounter and then I learned about the US healthcare system
Trump and Elon’s fight will end the same way the two white trash guys in my home town’s fight ended: unrelated drug overdoses
Take that, rewind it back, Usher got the voice to make your mom leave your dad
Someone at work just said “whatever happened to Sully Sullenberge?” And someone else said “the blue guy from Monsters inc.?”
Sorry gays the only “pride” I have is the pride in doing a good job at fucking men
I’m not ready for my parents to die, I am ready to stop being their tech support
Playing an April fool’s prank on my job by actually doing my work today
*bursting into a room at a party where everyone is doing cocaine* hey man do you recycle cans?