Jen J.C.

@jennnne.bsky.social

She/her 🦋 Poetry, love, humor, memes, tea, occasional adult themes 🦋 Human (Rights! ✊️) 🦋 Religionless 🦋 Progressive 🦋 Anti-capitalist 🦋 cPTSD 🦋 🔞 🩷💜💙 DMs are not 4 solicitation or 1st contact

Yesterday, we bade farewell to our Newfoundland matriarch. Freya added so much to our lives for nearly 11yrs. That's a Newfie lifetime. She was an anchor family member, & with her mate Odin, who left us earlier this year, gave us a litter of 12 healthy pups. Two pups remain with us to ease the ache.

Freya, the Landseer Newfoundland as an adorable 8 week old puppy. She is standing in the beige passenger seat of a car.Freya, the 2 year old Landseer Newfoundland nursing 4 of her puppies. The litter was 12. We gave her 4 at a time to nurse so they were all fed. This shift of 4 were 3 Landseer- black and white, and 1 black with white patches. Freya is drooling a lot in this photo because she was sick with a uterine infection. She received antibiotics and we literally spoon-fed her big bowls of meat, rice, and pumpkin. She had a hysterectomy and made a full recovery. She was a fantastic mother.1 year old Freya sitting with me on the couch. She has one leg resting in my lap.Freya is sitting in the back seat of a car next to my daughter, who is in a little kid car seat. Freya towers over Lily and Lily is unbothered at this age, by the drool that Freya drips onto her.

We struggle. No need to deny it or downplay it. But that's not the only thing that's happening here if we're working our trauma recovery. If we're working our recovery, our pain isn't pointless. We're not just struggling, we're transitioning. Changing. Realistically bodybuilding.

😞 Sad news. I came home from work to find that our little critter had died. I suppose I'm glad that she didn't die in a cold, wet parking lot. This evening, the mood is a somber one. My daughter's sentiment: "We gave her a couple good days." She certainly brought a couple of joyful days to us.

Baby's appetite has improved, so she must be properly warmed inside. She eats, I help her go potty and clean up her sticky milk face, etc. Then she climbs back under her wool glove and sleeps for a couple hours, and repeat. Rat pups are squirmy eaters! Yes, I call her kitten because... me. 🙃

The past couple of months have been AAaaAAAAaAAaaAAAAH! Yesterday, I received a tiny little package of oxytocin. It was left in a wet parking lot, right in front of my front tire, poor thing. It survived the day in a glove, in my cup holder, so I bought it some sustenance and brought it home.

A tiny, hairless baby rodent... Maybe a mouse. It is sleeping, curled up in a tan, wool glove.A tiny, hairless baby mouse is sleeping next to the tan, wool glove, under a heat lamp.

Fourteen hundred different feelings moving through me, Down from the depths, up through my spine— all manner of grief, and guilt, and resentment for the force of this existence, and it burns and churns away in my heart. My mind clears, becomes elated in the blurring between the worlds. #Poetry

stories and histories lies and legends for long hand in hand hearsay paper powder bleeding black would you rather not study raw data learn from quality reports delve into documentaries analyse a person's manners scan through deceitful layers than stare at those pounding preachy pages