J. Michael Mull
@jmichaelmull.bsky.social
I've ran out of clever things to write here about five social networks ago, so I'm just gonna play this out a little bit and see if it sticks.
this kid (everyone younger than me is a kid now) who works at Lululemon (sp?), who I kinda sorta think is possibly flirting with me, is asking me to come in so he can "hook me up." Like, I'm pretty easy to please, but mates' rates on athleisure wear is not the way to this man's heart
I'm going to miss that Michigan Senate lady who looks like a character on The Simpsons. She's such a weird bird. I found her disquieting gaze charming in a way
The three times in my life Ted Lasso has ever come up in conversation, I fumble and call it Ted Leo... *pregnant pause*... and The Pharmacists
my half-birthday passed, and I see the Large Hadron Collider has yet to be claimed on my wishlist. you all should be ashamed
I'm the biblically accurate angel your mother warned you about
sorry, I've been spending all my time in a groupchat with 99 other Denver, the Last Dinosaur aficionados
with all the motor scooters and ebikes kids are riding around on now, I'm trying to convince the youth we all used to surf around on railroad handcars. Sorry, I don't have any pics, as we didn't have phones back in the day
there’s just no way to mute people who get angry at headlines for engagement is there?
was really hoping the rest of the banshee community would follow me, one of their very own, over to Bluesky. Alas, they remain on Twitter, The Everything Bank™. I did meet a couple of harpies here, but it's not the same
Some people say I'm mean. Well, I say you're average. We are... the same.
a video game companion character with whom you're going through a divorce. excuse me, I need to go file a patent on that idea
You can be dead inside and also an emotional eater. It's called having a dynamic personality, hun
Because I work best with constructive criticism, I added a complaint box to my bedside table
I don't gamble due to the fact I'm terrible at keeping a straight face, which makes sense given my scorching case of gay face
Apologies, but I lost track somewhere around 10 skeets ago as to what the hell you're going on about, and I'm simply waiting for the many catastrophes of your personality to seem coherent again.
starting that whole trading game where you start with an eraser and exchange it for a pencil, then a pen, and so on, all the way up until I get my hands on Mies van der Rohe's Farnsworth House
as the person who leaves the party first, I should be invited to more parties. I’m vital because I give the go-ahead for others to wrap it up. I'm hyper aware of when people have had enough of me and it's only to your benefit
there's not a reaction gif in the world that can fully express my dismay at getting an onion bagel instead of an everything bagel
When you say "suck my dick" as an insult, you better be ready for me to actually do it. That's right, I'm winning this argument through sheer dick-sucking ability, bro
My anaconda appreciates the whole menu, buns or none, hun
I particularly love this one nearby grocery store; one of their four pillars is aesthetics. I mean, hello. As a bougie bitch, they've got food from all over the world. Camel milk is a thing, apparently. Never once crossed my mind. And yet I still can't get a goddamn cheese doodle within 1000 miles!
I admit I first got into birdwatching in the hopes of meeting chicks.