Having been brave on Weds. and got my tooth sorted out*, I am now having an anxiety flareup and need to be brave again and start therapy, not for some dude this time but for me. *and it's getting better - back Weds. coming up for the next step with hopefully easier recovery

I had emergency root canal last night on the tooth whose filling I broke on Saturday and now I have to have the bastard thing rebuilt next week. Not the biggest worst thing in the world but my face hurts. Glad I have a nice dentist.

Racists murdered another autistic black man today just as surely as if they'd shot him. Cambridge putting him on a pedestal then throwing him from it under a bus are an accessory to it. That makes me blue-hot angry. Can't even get the words right to express it.

*sends job to UK national supercomputer for density functional theory modelling* *has transformed coordinates and done preparatory calculations for weeks for this* Aah that's better. What else is on my to-do list? Oh bread, ok. *accidentally goes to the shop with her trousers on back to front* Hm

Freezer clearing lunch: couscous Caribbean pasty filling that I initially thought was curry and has matured in spiciness during its 2 years in the freezer dal garlic spinach mango chutney

Fascist sticker war update: the Restore-ist came back and had some kind of sticker explosion and put 5 on. Somebody else pulled them off. I have a comrade! Yes!

Aaaaa I just submitted my first CASTEP job of the actual fellowship! So exciting!

Oh wow. I accidentally googled myself without AI deactivated (trying to find a paper I published, too lazy to remember where I left it) and the summary was broadly accurate but the picture is A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON. Somebody with the same name who does clinical psychology at York. Haha!

Oh. The national high performance supercomputer I use for my project (ARCHER2) is going away in November. Apparently all project leads whose access extends beyond that have been emailed. No...they haven't, because I haven't.

I have been having a sticker war with a racist recently. He put some Restore Britain stickers on a lamp-post. I covered them up with rainbow unicorn stickers. He covered mine. I covered his. He peeled and covered mine. I have just raised the stakes with sticker remover and a scraper.

BOLLOCKS I just spent a couple of months trying to figure out how to do something using trig, failed, then did it by pissing around with plane equations in an afternoon. Half an afternoon. Why didn't I think of that in the first place?! Pillock!

I just organised interviews for my first all the way through PhD student*! It feels awesome, but kind of scary, like the first time you drive in a car that isn't the instructor's dual control one. I have mentors and co-supervisors and all sorts though so it's not that bad. But a little scary.

I had been struggling with a research trig problem for days and feeling really incompetent and this morning I decided to just move the origin and dodge the problem so I could go to the next step. It's ok to just build the road around the mountain when all you want is to reach the other side.

What the ever-loving fuck, Britain. This transphobic shit, in 202fucking6? I'm ashamed of this country.

Let it be clear: you are wanted here.

I've hit 100 responses to my survey on personal tutoring - half way there! If you're an academic in UK HE who's had pastoral responsibility for students in the last five years, whatever that's called, I'd love to hear your thoughts - it shouldn't take more than ten minutes. Do share if you can.

The Role Of Interpersonal Relationships And Care In Personal Tutoring Within UK HEIS

Take this survey powered by surveymonkey.com. Create your own surveys for free.

surveymonkey.com

This morning we spent an hour looking for where the smell of old man in the kitchen was coming from then 2 hours cleaning cat piss off the plates cupboard and if this isn't a metaphor for the local elections I don't know what fucking is.

If you have any Home undergrad students who are giant nerds into nuclear fusion and fancy doing a funded PhD that has crystallography, simulations, things that go pew pew, really niche electron microscopy and adventures, I have a project going for this autumn! fusion-cdt.ac.uk/project/temp...

Does this...make sense to anybody? It feels like my brain keeps slipping off the text. Did an LLM write the structure of a research agency?! aria.org.uk/opportunity-...

Opportunity spaces

Explore ARIA’s Opportunity Spaces. Dive into our work on AI, viral resilience, ecosystem engineering, climate and more to see how we’re defining the next frontier of science.

aria.org.uk

I have caused an X-ray to be taken, after a few men's worth of medical gaslighting. No orthopaedic damage done so I can crack on with rehab, though privately because nobody believed me. Yes, it did hurt a lot for a long time. No, I was not screaming for 6 weeks. Oh that means it didn't happen? Ok.

So My physio reckons I may have dislocated my shoulder out backwards climbing in March and put it back in when I fell over last week. Yes that is quite a few weeks. Yes it did hurt now I think about it. I am instructed to acquire an X-ray quite soon.

Well, Mr Cat is full of the joys of Spring. *crashing, jingling and biting noises in background*

My grant-related internal correspondence has been sent to the male professor who is my line manager, in the time leading up to the start of my fellowship, but not to me. This is a good start.

A lot of us have been supervised by bullies in some scientific role or another, and recognise that there is a problem where bullies keep getting given money so universities keep them around. What should funders do to dismantle this? Let's share ideas for how. Followed-only post to make it safe.

Yesterday I went to the EPSRC EDI Hub+ annual conference because I just became one of 33 Inclusion Advocates doing this: edihubplus.ac.uk/be-the-chang... My first impressions were that I still need to arrive early and ask people to turn the lights down so I can participate.

We bought a car Omggggggg

Little Car has got to the point where there are more broken things than I have fucks to give, so we are looking for the next one. First test drive this afternoon, I am bricking it and having visions of stalling on a huge roundabout even though I will probably be ok.

As a Black man with Tourette Syndrome, the Public Advocate has some thoughts on BAFTA, Pt. 1: Hear about his experience with Coprolalia, his thoughts on how BAFTA mishandled the moment, and the need for care for all who are harmed: Full video: youtu.be/FgaqKIxS4Hs

Now I've had the offer letter I can FINALLY tell the internet: I got the EPSRC Open Fellowship! From 1st April I am going to be at Sheffield for 5 years figuring out what happens with defects in beryllium intermetallics when you zap them and what it means for fusion, hopefully with 3 students!

Giving blood at the main donor centre was a good counter to the Epstein horror in the news. One end of the room is full of big dudes on their phones spending an hour donating platelets so some sick people can get better.