- We believe in second chances! - So you think refugees deserve a second chance at making a life? - Not like that - Young people who’ve made mistakes shouldn’t be punished? - Nope - Benefits to help people get back on their feet? - Ha! - So who do you believe in second chances for? - Nazis!

The News during an asteroid strike ☄️ Weather: A lovely clear night for viewing the shooting star 💫 Politics: Poll predicts Binface poised for post-apocalypse PM 🗑️ Immigration: Space Invaders! 👾 Lifestyle: How to host an Exit Party 🥳 Food: 5 fun alternatives to potatoes 🥔 #DontLookUp

Not *entirely* sure The News is taking the climate emergency seriously. From weather reports describing ‘fine’ weather and a ‘risk’ of rain, to a lighthearted cookery slot on #WATO about alternatives to potatoes because it’s TOO HOT TO GROW THEM in ‘the scorching summer we’re enjoying.’ 🙄🥔🔥

Rajan: “His readers treasured his love of mischief and pellucid prose.“ Webb: “A great writer and a great editor.” Me: 🤮 #R4Today

I guess I just imagined my symptoms for two years. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Lewis Goodall@lewisgoodall.com · 4d ago

Long covid is a disputed subject, at best.

Thank you, #TheArchers tweetalongers. I’m off to build a #WickerMan for Bert to smoke in. See you next week!

Miss Babs: “Thrilling news, Mrs O: you’ve just been elected the new Mayor of Manchesterford!” Mrs Overall: “Oh, I am pleased!” #AmbridgeAntiques #TheArchers

Neil: “Susan, your dad’s unbelievable. He’s just a one-dimensional pantomime villain!” Susan: “Tell it to the writers, Neil.” #TheArchers

Alan: "Finding the right words is hard, isn’t it?” Harrison: “Yes, it is. Oh, wait, here they are – at the top of p70.” #TheArchers

Neil: “Your father’s a right ****.” Susan: “It’s just his way.” Father Jack: “Feck! Erse! Drink! Girls!” #TheArchers #FatherTed

Jolene: “This is all so horrible…” Harrison: “I know, Jolene. But there’s only 10 mins of it to go now.” #TheArchers

Robert: “It’s ridiculous.” Ed: “I know, Robert. But we’d better read it out anyway.” #TheArchers

Chris: “You’re just a spiteful, selfish, disgusting old man!” Everyone: “And so say all of us!” 👏🏼 #TheArchers

Bert: “Pint of Shires?” 🍺 Martha: “Pint of Shires!” 🍺 Chris: “WTAF?” #PintOfShires #TheArchers

Neil: “What do you think of my carrot?” Chris: “Very impressive. But put it away now, eh, Dad?” #TheArchers

Robert: “What’s all this shouting? We’ll have no trouble here!” #TheArchers #LeagueOfGentlemen

Susan: “There is quite a bit of negativity.” Lynda: “You’ve seen #TheArchers tweetalong, then?”

Susan: “Nice new potatoes!” Neil: “Oops, sorry about that.” #TheArchers #WardrobeMalfunction

Lottie: “I'm not sure how much longer I can stay awake.” Chris: “Well, there’s only 20 mins of this to get through now.” #TheArchers

Lottiie: “When you know, you know.” Chris: “I know.” Lottie: “I know you know.” Chris: “I know you know I know.” Lottie: “Yes, I know.” #TheArchers #RoundTheHorne #RoundTheAm

Chris: “This is the start of a brand new era.” Lottie: “Yes, moving from The Mailbox to The Tea Factory is quite an upheaval.” #TheArchers

Chris: “Grandad reckons you’re going to take all my money and live the life of Old Mother Riley!” #TheArchers #OldMotherRiley

Jolene: “Oh this is just CRAZY!” Fallon: “I know, Mum. But we’d better read it out anyway.” #TheArchers

Fallon: “I want to start by saying how much I’ve enjoyed being in #AmbridgeAntiques.” #TheArchers

Jolene: “All I want for you is to be happy. But, mostly, for ME to be happy.” #TheArchers

Fallon: “What? I can’t hear you over the peacock!” Jolene: “What? CAN’T HEAR YOU! Hang on – I’ll ask the studio manager to turn down the peacock!” #TheArchers

Harrison: “I saved her life, she nearly drowned.” Fallon: “He showed off, splashing around.” Both: “Driving ban, crashed in the Am, But ah! Oh, #TheArchers nights.” All: “Stella, Stella, Stella, huh?” #SummerNights

Chris: “What’s been going on?” Harrison: “Well, it started in 1951, after a pilot in 1950, initially with the aim of educating farmers after WW2, but it soon became an everyday story of country folk, and then a contemporary drama in a rural setting. And this is our 20,981st episode!” #TheArchers

Chris: “Am I missing something?” Fallon: “Yeah - last week's omnibus, where Harrison and I split up? But it’s still available on BBCSounds or wherever you get your podcasts.” #TheArchers

Susan: “...and 28 pence change. Enjoy your antiques!” #TheArchers #AmbridgeAntiques