Joshua Zirkzee is a create-a-footballer built by a 12-year-old who’s put all their available points on technique. Can’t do anything useful with the ball but has a delightful first touch.

Zirzkee 💀 let’s give up now

We are so fortunate Spurs are absolute dog shit in the final third.

There’s no way Tielemans is a professional athlete. Bloke is blowing after one ten-yard sprint.

Spent far too long agonising over these nine albums. Tried not to repeat an artist although, of course, Tom Delonge features twice.

Spanish Love Songs never, ever miss. open.spotify.com/track/7qqLey...

Doom Tripping

Spanish Love Songs · Doom Tripping · Song · 2026

open.spotify.com

Only something as funny as the impending relegation and imminent dismantling of Manchester City can finally unite, albeit briefly, supporters of Manchester United and Liverpool in a state of mutually acknowledged mockery.

While drying her hair, Dand used voice to text to ask me “Are there any wired headphones downstairs? Can you get them for me?” But, to my great confusion, I received this while making a cuppa 😂

My absolute worldie full-back is kicking off about not being able to settle in Spain. What's the issue? The good food? The great weather? The snooze in the middle of the day?

Hei! @thesefootballtimes.shop har laget et magasin om norsk fotball. Jeg skrev (selvfølgelig) om Ronny Johnsen, men inne i magasinet finner du historier om Arctic fotball, RBK, Brann, Oslo, Bodø/Glimt, VM-98 og VM-26, etc. Vær så snill kjøp et eksemplar! thesefootballtimes.shop/collections/...

Norway

Football at the top of the world is anything but dull. Cold, eclectic, exhilarating, intense. If there's one thing to be said of Norway: expect the unexpected

thesefootballtimes.shop

My wife, an author, just asked me for a surname for character. English-sounding, she said. She’s settled on Hargreaves, but just asked, “Did you just name footballers?” My suggestions: Rooney, Neville, Ferdinand, Carrick, Hargreaves.

Introducing the new issues: Norway and Anthology: 1991/92. The story of Norwegian football through its iconic players and influential cities, and an epic look back at the brilliant 1991/92 season. Out now for your reading pleasure. thesefootballtimes.shop/mag

🇳🇴 Nordmenn! Vi har endelig klart det. Et helt magasin om Norge! (Og vi leverer selvfølgelig til Norge.)

These Football Times@thesefootballtimes.shop · 2w ago

Introducing the new issues: Norway and Anthology: 1991/92. The story of Norwegian football through its iconic players and influential cities, and an epic look back at the brilliant 1991/92 season. Out now for your reading pleasure. thesefootballtimes.shop/mag

Facebook is largely dreck, but sometimes it shows me nice things, like the Frome Skate Project, who’ve designed a board for Frodo, Frome’s famous resident cat.

Strip them of every title and relegate them one division per illicit title gained. Cheating rats.

David Ornstein@david-ornstein.bsky.social · 2w ago

🚨 EXCLUSIVE: Manchester City found guilty on virtually all charges relating to breaches of Premier League financial regulations. #MCFC expected to appeal against verdict issued by independent commission. Sanctions undecided, process ongoing @theathleticfc.bsky.social www.nytimes.com/athletic/704...

“Where are all the white dudes making music in garages?” THEY NEVER WENT AWAY! open.spotify.com/track/1SaMvr...

Something Real

KIDPUNK · BLACKEYE · Song · 2025

open.spotify.com

I see we’ve given up using the current squad and our calendar is nostalgic now 😂

This result has highlighted the difference between Maresca and Carrick. The former quickly adapted his team after the red card, while Carrick pressed on with the same system, same personnel, doing the same thing and hoping something would happen.

We can bemoan the goal all we want, but how the fuck has Carrick watched forty minutes of us being unable to score against ten men and not entertained the idea of a substitution?

I love Cunha. I think he’s a terrific footballer. But he’s not a striker, so bring on Sesko ASAP because Cunha is giving us absolutely nothing again.

If United get a win here, all the noise in the days to come will be about Fernandes not getting a red and the narrative that United get all the decisions etc, etc, all while we wait for the verdict on the 115+ charges

I am once again asking Michael Carrick to refrain from playing Cunha as a striker.

Phil Foden is such a dislikable bloke. See yer later 👋🏻

Call me old-fashioned, but I think selling all your best players midseason and then failing to reinforce the squad with adequate replacements is not the ideal way to maintain competitiveness. I trust TIL know what they’re doing, but, man, not a great run, this.

Jeg er en bedre forsvarsspiller enn Leon Hien, og jeg har aldri spilt som forsvarsspiller i hele mitt liv.

It’s been a great year of reading.

Facebook informed me yesterday that it’s ten years since I was in the paper for scoring twice against Cutters Friday during an 8-1 win where it absolutely lashed it down all game. Oh, to be 26 with a working Achilles again 😂e

I dag, føler jeg meg Tysk.