she came over in an outfit precision engineered in a lab to drive me feral (oversize misfits shirt, torn decorative black fishnets), wearing a mask, and now she's testing for covid since she was just at a convention grrhhghahaaaahhAAHHHHHGHHHHH

Kelly's locked alt@kellycantfail.bsky.social · yesterday

forest rave bunnygirl wants to come over early tomorrow and i cant sleep cant stop thinking about last time she said she intentionally did not wear deodorant because she (in this case, correctly) had a hunch

i wonder how many people have me muted cuz my life is going too well

forest rave bunnygirl wants to come over early tomorrow and i cant sleep cant stop thinking about last time she said she intentionally did not wear deodorant because she (in this case, correctly) had a hunch

"i tied your shoes now let's go" -anonymous skate angel

villain: now that coyoteman is under my control, i'll - hey, where'd he go. henchman: he said he needed a smoke. villain: villain: what? LATER, OUTSIDE: coyoteman: [smoking menthols] villain: he's still under mind control, what the hell. is nicotine addiction that powerful? henchman: [shrugs]

why does eating dinner give me nightmares

it's not more than i can digest 📌 Kelly's locked alt pinned this post

okay my back hurts in ways it normally doesn't anymore, probably from playing pinball standing up. feeling slightly less invincible. still planning to wake up early, then take this spine to a pinball tournament, then 12 more hours of nonstop events with no time for breaks between. what could go wron

i was thinking if i bite her neck much harder i'm gonna make a hole then i started laughing and she asked me what i was laughing about and i said i just realized what day it is

had to do the hardest thing (wake up girlfriend) to make sure she did the hardest thing (catch a job interview call) but she's the softest hardest thing so we uhhhhh she missed the call 🙇🏼‍♀️

attentive and waiting

yearning so hard She is summoned

biting off more than you can chew isn't a good metric anyway if you have bad enough TMJ

post nap clarity

ccoonnnneeccttiioonnss

me at 3 am, going back for more embracing

sadie schreber, MD.@agrecianurn.bsky.social · last wk.

i really have to stop embracing things, i think

hosting a hangout that only has date energy because we made out once while being polysaturated kinda rules. if we don't click no worries. if she's cool that's cool. if it goes really well that would be actively inconvenient. all the giddy anticipation with none of the stakes

it's okay to have standards your time is your most valuable possession

chat im so cooked

Kelly's locked alt@kellycantfail.bsky.social · last wk.

all that said i do still have blood pumping through my veins and like how am i not gonna "how's your friday lookin" after it becomes apparent that i gave my number in the afterglow of "happy house" to the bunny ears one who said i was a really good kisser and then told her partner to see for herself

i just realized my pubes are trimmed very asymmetrically. why didn't you tell me

it's a good thing i only had one diy show for a band i've already seen twice this year on my calendar for today because wow yes i can still dance for 12 hours straight with few ill effects but i keep forgetting if i do that my body will need the entire next day to sleep it off

first of all, Rude,,

ZINNIA@zinniathemaid.bsky.social · last wk.

Airframe Ultra is the sickest racing game ever made holy shit

my "intentionally and mindfully cooling it with the flirting" approach to keeping my calendar and my heart manageable did not account for people at outdoor dance parties seeing my whole face telling me i'm really pretty and asking if they can kiss me

one time a man on his phone walking into my path looked up at me then down at his phone and plowed on so i literally jingled my keys in his face. he jumped to the side with a little throat noise. not gonna pretend i thought "the need for more direct local action is dire and it is now" but like. LIKE

being relatable is overrated

typed "kelly" into the bluesky influener poll thing and breathed a medium sized sigh of relief a month of instagram microfame plus years of two very specific exes trying to tar me as an unfeeling clout chaser got me spooked i guess never understood the idea i'm Like This (this!) to Get Famous lol

week is cursed OVER IT 😮‍💨