Spent all of last weekend (staying with mates) trying to remember what my stepdad’s phrase is for when a bunch of people over 40 get together and start discussing their ailments: the organ recital
KB
@ktb543.bsky.social
F 💅🏼 UK 🇬🇧 Queer 🌈 Neurodiverse 🌶 . Lover of words, laughter and dogs. Usually very friendly unless provoked otherwise . A bit feral . Sweary .
Watching a documentary where a journalist describes another female reporter "incredibly brave for risking her career" for speaking up about her experience of systematic sexual abuse at the hands of her male boss. CAREER?! fuck off
Finding out there is a new series of your show out. You are going to eat dinner and then get into a big squishy bed and not get up for like....a day.
Me: not fully paying attention to anyhing, passively thinking dinner is taking a long time. Digital oven: my default temp is 150℃ and you forgot to turn me up. I hate you. My dinner: I am a bit warm.
"that cunt was like my brotherrrrr" "he...he was your brother?" #deadloch
A friend of mine bought a caravan. I assume this is why I am now being served caravan content? Saw a great driving game where you place the word "anal" in front of the name of the caravans you see on the road. See attached.
This is Fran. She decided to make you a bowl of her famous bean soup. The secret ingredient is toe beans. 13/10 (TT: franfrannoodles)
Paging @ktb543.bsky.social - one for your files. I wonder what it looks like if you defocus your eyes? It's giving 'great' magic eye poster vibes.
Fat Apollo, baby!@fatapollo.myatproto.social · yesterdayImagine waking up with a killer hangover in this house
Someone on Reddit: "Anyone else think that cat looks like its about to invade poland?"
More from @semidetachedreality on Instagram #property #housing #home www.instagram.com/semidetached...
Today I've been thinking: I am probably the thickest person on the earth. Everyone at work thinks I am absolute dog shit. I am only there still because it would be legally awkward to fire me. I'm barely tolerated and everyone is just waiting for me to move on so they can get someone better.
Been doing ALL THE HOSPITAL recently, resulting in discovering I am allergic to the actual world 🥲🫠 So this is my new fren. Air filter supreme.
My mum referring to someone in a message as "that fat fuck" and there being so many possibilities of people that could apply to in her world that I have to ask clarifying questions.
A very attractive delivery driver just came to my door, with a package. As he handed it over, he says: "John Lewis?" 👀 And did a ~ hark at you ~ face. Lol. Posh shamed. On my own doorstep. The shame.
We only rate dogs. This is a baby kangaroo, as you can tell by the kickstart button on her foot. Please only send dogs. Thank you... 12/10 (TT: supernoodlegirls)
I've been outsmarted by the child lock on a new household spray, and the instructions are in German. ffs.
Posted this picture of my lunch on Instagram and got a warning that I was doing paid promotional work without the appropriate disclosure 🧐 I WISH I was doing #SponCon for M&S, lads. Unfortunately I pay for my food out of pocket. Like a chump.
