Christians should be banned from playing sports. Jesus provides them with additional strength, which gives them unfair advantage.

James McAvoy is now the same age as Patrick Stewart was in the first season of Star Trek: the Next Generation. He knows what must be done.

I don't need to be a fake optometrist (like Rand Paul) to see that Rand Paul should get fucked.

Hoodlum 🇺🇸@nothoodlum.bsky.social · last wk.

The caller on Rand Paul’s virtual town hall is all of us.

Data centers should be built adjacent to airports and landfills. Any land with heavy metals or PFAS? Data center. Reactivating a nuclear plan to power a data center? Put the data center right there. Treat data centers as toxic "but necessary" (they are not) and move from there.

omg yes

Jon of The North@krauza.bsky.social · last wk.

I don't want a "Smart Fridge" that orders milk for me. I want a fridge that lasts 25 years and doesn't have a privacy policy that allows it to share my late-night snacking habits with my health insurance provider.

My cat thinks anything in a resealable pouch is a treat for her. Oh, no, mon petite chat. These are papa's edibles for anxiety. You have beclowned yourself. You are a fool. I am not trying to be cruel to her. I am reciting my script after mistaking standard human interaction with flirting.

Me to my cat: I do not negotiate with terrorists. Also me to my cat: You deserve a treat.

Can you just imagine the Crusaders arriving in the Holy Land and saying, "wait, are you sure Jesus was from here? Nobody looks like him."

I feel like a lot of Prince stories have the following plot: 1. Someone disrespected Prince 2. Prince demonstrated why no one should ever disrespect him.

Hoodlum 🇺🇸@nothoodlum.bsky.social · 2mo ago

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame performance of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” honoring George Harrison, featured Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Steve Winwood, Dhani Harrison, Marc Mann, Steve Ferrone, and a killer closing guitar solo by Prince. (Edited for format)

I'm disappointed that Spike Lee didn't throw a trash can.

Ron Filipkowski@ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Just like a cabinet meeting.

He was a sawyer, which is like a lawyer, but with saws.

Reconstruction Party Partial Platform (a thread): Candidates: * not allowed to have been on reality shows * full disclosure of taxes and financials by every candidate * federal-level disclosures of finances by immediate family members * election requires blind trust, sole employment, and no crypto

Why is Vietnam forcing those poor villagers to disinter the graves of their ancestors so Trump can build a golf course there when Trump is perfectly fine with graves on his golf courses?

oh no, I stil have to roll back a release

I'm trying something out. IGNORE ME!!

Stop. Changing. To. "Permanent Daylight Time". Just. Do. Things. An. Hour. Earlier. Seriously dumb.

Historian of abolition here, history tells us how we got here, to put it succinctly “John Brown was hanged for treason and Robert E. Lee was not.”

I'm just a human Standing in front of a computer Begging it to do what I asked it to.

Drinking a guava gimlet and thinking of the one who got away twice.

It is odd coming to terms with what my life has been and is.

I know that diversity is our strength, but if we could reduce the asshole sector of America, I'd be thrilled.

Shhh... the president is deep in thought.

MoJoJuju@xoey1.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Real... You can't make this Sh*t Up..🤡

I was a military brat, but I also agree with Smedley Butler. This, however, is fucking disgraceful. There is no reason we should be doing this - and if there was an actual mutiny in the modern navy, it would destroy our military.

MeidasTouch@meidastouch.com · 3mo ago

New photos from the USS Abraham Lincoln show service members receiving minimal food portions as reports grow that some troops have lost significant weight and aren’t receiving care packages—while the Pentagon denies any shortages. (Newsweek)

This is so well done. 👌

Why have secure borders? Serial killers, mass shooters, most rapists and child molesters, embezzlers, tax cheats, and drunk drivers in America are born and raised here. If the problem is crime, it is the native people who have suffered under an ethnically European crime wave for generations.

If Melania can make a speech, she can testify before Congress

If you are required BY LAW to send your child to PUBLIC SCHOOL then lunch should be FREE. Yes, I am aware I will pay for it with my taxes. Yes, I am fine with this.

Wishing this fabulously competent—and joyful—crew a safe return to a planet that, frankly, doesn't deserve them.

To cap off his first 100 days in office, Mayor Zohran Mamdani walked the full 6 miles home from New York City Hall last night — greeting New Yorkers along the way. 🍎

I can prove anti-Zionism is not anti-Semitism by showing pro-Zionism isn't pro-Semitism. www.bbc.com/news/world-m... tl;dr: "The unprovoked beating up by policemen of Demas Fekadeh, an Ethiopian Israeli soldier in uniform" shows the current Israeli government wants a specific demographic.