Gonna buy 69 shares of $BUTT and open a short position in $FART going into earnings before the market closes. This is not financial advice.
Eating a plate of spaghetti with my shirt off listening to Stryper.
I think I might rewatch that Civil War movie with Nick Offerman and jerk off to the ending.
It’s a game changer! It’s a game changer! It’s a game changer! It’s a ga… OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP! THE GAME ISN’T CHANGING AND THE GAME STILL FUCKING SUCKS!
Yngwie J. Malmsteen used his middle initial so you didn’t confuse him with all the other Yngwie Malmsteens out there.
Eventually you just have to get up off that toilet and go face the world. (Please wash your hands first)
I had to delete a skeet about donating blood because it had a Type O.
I’m going to go ahead and claim the title of “Cleanest Person in the World” right now because that shower was epic and there’s no way anyone is cleaner than me. That being said, there will still be no licking my butthole. That’s not what it’s there for.
Me: doesn’t use AI because it’s a waste of electricity and bad for the environment. Also me: inbox has 70k unread emails and I don’t unsubscribe because it’s a hassle
Look, I don’t care what the internet says. Manfred Mann was totally saying “douche” and you will never convince me otherwise.
My sincerest apologies to the gang down at the sewage treatment plant for the unholy abomination I just sent their way.
Gonna fill the sink with Flonase and submerge my face in it.
I’m still pissed that George Lucas named that fat rebel pilot “Porkins”
Jesus H Christ babygirl crack the fuckin window my eyes are burning what the hell did you eat
Stephen Miller is going to come by later and we’re gonna hang dong and read Mein Kampf aloud with German accents.
Does Karma work from home? Maybe she should get back to the office because she hasn’t been very productive.
I didn’t wake up and choose violence, but the options becoming limited and tomorrow is a new day.