BOURDAIN (voiceover): I found myself surrounded by discarded objects. An empty soda can, a dead battery. Life becomes death. But death can become life. The simmering pot with its spicy aroma in front of me is proof. BOURDAIN: What's in this dish? ME: Pikmin BOURDAIN: Pikmin. Oh man that's good.
when you fail your stealth check and two of the three enemy wights notice your rogue ass
W.E.D.em Boyz@leftistwonk.bsky.social · 3d agoJesus Christ. Sophie Cunningham fully embracing the right wing grift.
i hate that every day i have to learn about some new asshole. why do they keep coming out with new assholes. enough
red pikmin should be rinsed and then soaked in warm water for several hours until soft. you can save the water for braising. yellow pikmin are best used for fast, high heat stir-fries. blue pikmin can be served raw after a quick rinse. purple pikmin should be kept intact to slowly absorb seasoning
(acting in American Psycho but I forgot my lines) wow... business card.... a perfect rectangle... white, with words on it... All the key information is on here Jared Leto: (also forgot his lines) Plus it has Dope Handfeel as well
me: the don't let the pigeon drive the bus author really phoned it in after the first one you: tfw your favorite weird twitter account starts posting about children's books 😬 the guy tied up in my basement and dressed up as a yellow pikmin: Baba pigeon book again again
ok time for some real art criticism. this series of kids books is so bad. it looks ai generated but it's not. there's no flow or narrative. it's just random sentences about different trains. and apparently each book took two authors to write
me: that baby's shirt shows a lion driving a jeep that says animal beach patrol. that's not his natural habitat woman on threads: So this guy on the train is literally looking at the wikipedia entry for lion. finance guy who goes by Aurelius88 on twitter: Without the lion, a nation's borders fall.
how about a compromise, anyone who blocks will has to fill out a form explaining why. this form gets sent directly to his phone and he can’t turn this feature off
max largeman, very good boy@dad.franklinstower.online · last wk.rapist mentality
just walked by a bar in my neighborhood and a tour guide was leading a group of european tourists into it while explaining what a dive bar is
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to hang out in the middle east while he starts the same war every day. when a missile blasts you into pieces he'll say your last words were "we must build a new ballroom in the white house" before your body is even cold. good luck soldier
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2w agoTrump on fallen US troops: "All of them said very strongly, 'We cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon.'"
getting mad at the film adaptation of journey to the west because it's not historically accurate. sun wokeong
one of the dinner charts people got so mad yesterday when someone said they weren’t a real economist that they posted a photo holding up their undergraduate diploma. which is probably the coolest thing you can do in that situation
the trailer for the new movie in the mommy cinematic universe is exhausting. the timeline is so confusing with her face coming back again. i'm tired of crossovers like dada and grandma. and last time the food came in on train but this time it's airplane
really feels like the players should be selling flops a lot more by straight up crying. like why not, just burst into tears. go boo hoo mode
france-england third place game: mbappe scores 142 goals in regulation (98 for france and 44 for england) final score 108-106 spain-argentina finals: spain scores at 11”, followed by 85 minutes of defensive ball with no shots on goal, final score 1-0
i got a bad case of diarrhea this week. not from eating bad lettuce or anything. just been eating a lot of diarrhea
my new idea for time zones. whenever you wake up, that's 9 am. and whenever you go to sleep that's 9 pm. time is no longer a fixed point. you can follow the sun or you can follow your heart. the choice is yours
everyone’s talking about daylight saving time. when you should be talking about penis saving time *casts spell of penis explosion on you*
(to the tune of country roads) cast explode, on penis to the place on the dong wizard hit ya, using mana on penis, cast explode
wizards prepare spells to cast each day. for example if a wizard wants to cast penis explosion, they have to memorize the spell ahead of time. whereas a sorcerer can cast penis explosion any time as long as they already know the spell
me (casting spell of penis explode in the direction of the white house but a hot girl walks by with silver hair and rimless glasses reminding me of biwa hayahide from umamusume and i turn to catch a glimpse of her beauty): ouuh lindsey graham: ow
no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say lindsey graham died from smoking a cigar because the cigar exploded in his face and his pants and socks and underwear flew off and then he dropped the cigar on his penis which also exploded. don’t say stuff like that
i think on a moral scale this is almost on par with just killing the guy
Bradford Pearson@bradfordpearson.bsky.social · 4w agojesus christ
i'd like to sincerely apologize for missing the mark with the satire in this post. the lack of clarity and purpose has led to it being mistaken for and contributing to that which it intended to criticize. i've since learned how the pyramids were built: very carefully
leon@leyawn.bsky.social · 4w agoum, so everyone cheering on egypt in the world cup realizes how the pyramids were built right? but i guess that's a conversation you're not ready to have