At cvs picking up an order and there were three women of a certain age in front of me that were ironically experiencing their first day on earth. It was a test in patience and I failed.

Gotta say, walking through the neighborhood listening to brand new chanel$ while hitting the penjamin is the move 🙌🏼

Remember when sambas were $35 and now they’re NINETY-FIVE 🤯 ?

I have, with my own eyes, watched my tax dollars in the form of missiles as they hit buildings inhabited by civilians. I'd much prefer subsidizing a grocery story I don't use.

USA TODAY Opinion@usatodayopinion.usatoday.com · 2d ago

Opinion: Mamdani's idea may sound appealing, but it's NYC taxpayers who will take the hit, subsidizing discounts they may never even use.

Starting your Sunday by getting railed before noon really does set your [w]hole week up for success

Every Friday I’m reminded how pretty some of your penises are

I know the gaydom is split, but my verdict is: petals is beautiful and intimate and sweet and I love it

Seated for brand new day, 15mg about to hit, I feel so good rn

Thanks for playing 😘

“Straight acting and masculine” okay well I’m gay acting and a nightmare

That post-*** pep in your step>>>>>

Hey, you ever ride the ferry stoned, sipping a jalapeño marg? Nah me neither.

Umm I think I know where all the bots are coming from

If a gay guy sits next to you on the subway and lifts his shirt to dry sweat… he knew you were sitting there 🥵

Beach day 🫶🏼

Beach day 🫶🏼

Today I’m snapping my fingers at people who walk into my path while looking down at their phones🫰🏼

Scruff: “You have a lot of moments waiting” ok well if they’re not A Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson I don’t care

A man on the train with that curly hair mohawk AND a slutty little mustache? And it’s salt and pepper?? Wet. I’m wet.

Trader Joe’s new knock off rice crispy treats might be my new favorite dr*g

When bloomf asks you to help him choose a thirst trap and you realize you suddenly need to **** ***

Pits in my face now bro

Received a few top-notch kisses at tiki disco yesterday, so might do some follow-ups today to inquire about some encores.

Hot take, Messi’s an asshole. You know it too.

Drunk and stoned so I put on The Five Star Weekend and idk if it’s bc I wish Jennifer Garner was my mother or I’m a sap, but this is me: 😭🫠

I’m very here for this Carly Rae Dicso Diva moment

After All

Carly Rae Jepsen · After All · Song · 2026

open.spotify.com

Can you stop letting me pour my own drinks??? I was a generous bartender back in the day, and apparently I still am.

At a birthday party for my bf’s ex that doesn’t really like me. You better believe I popped a big ol’ eddie.

Bitch I’m in the top two. Eat my ass.