Just me and my Bluesky against the whole world.

Please don’t tap the glass on the fishbowl it makes her sing Rick James.

If you see a raven today it’s me

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

My cat is irritated with yall today ✨🐈‍⬛

You ever look around a room to make sure no one is there and let out a huge fart then someone walks right behind you.

I had a paranormal experience today working in the Emergency Room🫪 any body else have a similar experience?

i dont give a fuck who you are you are not above the five dollar costco rotisserie chicken

Denim on denim for ETERNITY 💙

Hamburger help us

Having a conversation with some of yall makes me wanna do a spiritual cleanse when I get home 🫩

How do I cover up the sounds of my very loud shits while at work

I’m the tall super skinny super tea haunting figure chasing you in your nightmares💃🏻

Nothing makes me more mad when I go to the pool and people are blaring TRASHHHH mainstream music.

Tell your cat I said PSPSPSPSP

I’m gonna intimidate my gynecologist by wearing my underwear like a bank robber mask when I get a PAP

Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

IM LOST IN IKEA 😭

i'm, too sexy for this post

ON MY CHICKEN POT PIE YOU WONT

Maybe I died when Janet Jackson flashed her titts and this is just hell.

Normalize lying to strangers when they ask what you do for a job. I’m gonna start telling every one I’m a WNBA lesbian belly dancer.

CEO of getting crumbs absolutely everywhere

Normalize yelling “HAIL SATAN” when people start preaching on airplanes 🫩

Nothing makes me need to pee more then when they call a code blue 😭

I love being an EMT.. all I have to do is pretend I know what huge medical words mean and tell you you’re blood pressure is TOTALLY normal🫪

About to eat Taco Bell.. do I go to the emergency room now or in 10 minutes?

Who wants to write a small poem together 🖤

🐊🐊 🤣

Whatever happened to the names we used to call each other as kids like “booger eater” and “bootyhole licker”… calling someone a bxtch just has no punch to it :/