i thought that was the whole point. this is my first post in 10 months.
i know this cartoon came out during the Great Depression, but god damn
Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
Oh man, I had forgotten about this sensation: when the GOP walks back a 100% ludicrous and unconscionable proposal, and my dumb ass feels like it's a win.
ICE-T: So let me get this straight: We got two sets of footprints walkin along this beach. Times start getting tough, and this set just vanishes? Did one guy fly away? Did- LAB GUY (measuring depth of one of the remaining footprints with a little ruler): Detective? You're gonna want to see this...
happy first day of static electricity season for those who celebrate
Your pal Miah just got Busted. Went to try the new neighborhood ramen joint tonight, and I am sad to report it was t e r r i b l e. I will normally headbutt a deer and try to steal its salt lick during the ensuing mayhem, but this stuff made mouth draw up when the waiter was 5 steps away.
If you're looking for the tiniest glimmer of a smile, know that the absolute worst people in our country are secretly kinda sad that they don't have a reason to storm anything. Group chats are in shambles. Vacation days burned. Custody hearings skipped. They've been looking forward to this for YEARS
This Place Is All Fucked Up - defector.com/this-place-i...
one of the simplest and most depraved things you can do as a person in 2024 is to sit and quietly eat an entire plain Hershey's bar
there's a list of "Things That Are Still Very Cool, But Nowhere Near As Cool As Their Name Implies," and at the very top of that list are the words BLOOD MOON
Right before you find out your friend’s new boyfriend goes to Burning Man
William Shakespeare@shakespeare.lol · 2y agoWhy, what’s the matter? Does he rave?
Wife, daughter, and dog are all out of town, and I am Back. On. My. Bullshit.
Just told the waiter, "Ooh, I love a good scalloped potato." There really is no point in running from who you are.
as if living in Washington State weren't blessing enough, this year, it comes with the God-given right to vote for this man:
today is my first Father's Day, and all i can say is, honestly, i recommend it
9-month-old is enjoying her first cantaloupe enough to warrant a paternity test
either my Morse code is rusty or these are the most racist fireflies i've ever seen
In the early 1600s, Caravaggio accused Giovanni Baglione of copying his style in "Divine Eros Defeats Earthly Eros," and Baglione responded by painting the whole damn thing again, this time with Caravaggio's face on Lucifer.
Adam Serwer@adamserwer.bsky.social · 2y agoI saw someone say beef doesn’t happen in other genres and … just say you’ve never heard of alexander pope
There's "racist" and "so racist you get kicked out of an Ole Miss fraternity for being too racist racist."
Ashton Pittman@ashtonpittman.bsky.social · 2y agoThe University of Mississippi student who made the monkey noises at a Black woman has been kicked out of his fraternity. Phi Delta Theta announced his removal today. Earlier, the UM NAACP called on UM to expel Phi Delta Theta member JP Staples.
Wife and I made it through the first three hours of the first ten minutes of "Unfrosted" before calling it.
i talked to two strangers at the bar tonight: one who introduced himself as PJ and another who turned out to be named JP. not everything is a grand adventure sometimes things just happen.
i think a pretty fun joke would be for every astronomy professor in the world to cash out their savings accounts on the same day and then just like hide for three weeks.
I'm sorry for not posting on here sooner, but we were at the zoo.
