Nick Clay

@nickclay.bsky.social

11+ failure, frustrated musician, actual criminal defence lawyer.

When imagining Jeffrey Archer's latest book, Private Eye always had him calling his principal character, a man of singular talents given to exploits of derring-do, Geoffrey Bowman. Oh, and I also liked that they would refer to Archer as 'Archole', something that probably got right up his nose.

Jeffrey Archer was one December the subject of Private Eye’s diary. On Christmas morning, it had him say (if I recall correctly), the family all gather round to sings carols-with a crisp new fiver for the winner!

In the mid-50s, my late Dad was undertaking research at Durham University’s Kings College (now Newcastle University) & did some joint work with the prestigious Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee. ORNL sent a photo showing off their expensive laboratory facilities. This is what he sent back.

Sepia photograph of my moustachioed Dad in a lab looking like it had been taken in the 19th century

With the Bayeux Tapestry currently on loan to the British Museum, I believe my old 11th Century band - Pink Noise - will 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 get the recognition we deserve.

Daft AI-generated representation of my 80s ban in a Bayeux Tapestry style

I ring my late father's occupational pension provider to report his recent death & choose option 1 to be put through to the 'reporting a bereavement' section. Their choice of hold music? Imagine watching a 70s cop show stake-out scene. Yes, the bass is funky & the guitar is wah-wah-ing like crazy.