Already cba to read the inevitable Bruno leaving message. Just gonna be the same generic vacuous shit that every player comes out with isn’t it. Being a Newcastle player may well have meant something to him, but it will never mean as much as the club means to the fans. So why bother?

Bit dramatic innit

Novocastrum@novocastrianufc.bsky.social · 4h ago

I'm howling 😀

Our manager can bench more than your manager.

Big opportunity for Jaissle to lean into the fact that everyone expects nothing from us this season. Use the lack of pressure to give young players a place to develop, but create a “prove them wrong” mentality in the squad at the same time. Kind of feels like 22/23 NUFC all over again.

I demand an unrelenting stream of New Manager insights, training session footage and interview content right now. You’ve made us wait long enough.

Thought this was memecastle for a moment. Couldn’t believe my eyes.

Newcastle United@newcastleunited.com · 6h ago

We’re delighted to announce the appointment of Matthias Jaissle as Newcastle United head coach. Widely recognised as one of Europe’s leading young coaches, the 38-year-old German arrives on Tyneside following remarkable success with both Red Bull Salzburg and Al-Ahli. Welcome, Matthias! 🖤🤍

68m. That’s pathetic.

I’m nowt special at golf, shoot 88 on a good day, but that is genuinely dog farts.

Ron Filipkowski@ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 2d ago

Easy to see how he won 43 Club Championships with this masterful putting stroke.

Fucking hell this is an all-timer 😂 #NUFC

Please can we get Angelo Stiller then.

Didn’t reveal anything btw. Just went early to try and look good and is claiming it as a scoop.

Ben Jacobs@jacobsben.bsky.social · yesterday

Arsenal finalising a deal for Bruno Guimarães, as revealed on @talkSPORT last week. Advanced talks have been ongoing for some time. Broad agreement in place, pending final details. All parties expect the deal to go through. Guimarães has already agreed terms.⏳

Saw that we were linked with Tyler Adams a few days ago and I almost cried.

I just don’t buy this idea that “detail” on branding makes football clubs difficult to market. It makes profit margins harder to achieve because you cba to pay for quality. But we knew that when badges went from embroidery to plastic tat. Any PR spin that’s applied won’t change that truth.

Kev Lawson@editkev.football · 2d ago

Taking bets: how crap out of ten are we expecting the new #NUFC club crest to be? The video showing how they landed on this silhouette is here 🔽 www.newcastleunited.com/en/our-crest

You know you’re clucking for the return of league football when you’re sat in the boozer watching the post-game analysis of Celtic vs Dundee. Seeing it on the screen when I walked in felt like a warm blanket being wrapped around me.

I’ve made the executive decision to milk this Sunday night for everything it’s worth. Five guys burger & wine. Stick a film on.

Just ordered a Five guys burger and Fries. Unsure whether I’ll ever financially recover from this.

Here’s what trying so hard and getting so far taught me about B2B sales…

fesshole 🧻@fesshole.bsky.social · 3d ago

Trying be the cool dad for my son in front of his friends I mistakenly called Linkin Park 'LinkedIn'.

No NUFC announcement it seems. So to cure my boredom I want to put a question to you… Did any of you, of Millenial age, ever find random bits of porn in bushes when you were younger? I’ve asked 6 of my pals in the last couple of days and they all said yes. Need to find out why this is a thing 😂

“I’m leaving because your friend here is wearing a suit jacket with shorts.”

Ant Allen@antallen.bsky.social · 3d ago

Bruno and the new gaffer?

I really wanted some New Manager content to binge tonight. Newcastle United, you have once again let me down.

“We’re gonna build a Monorail, a beautiful monorail it’s so great. Nobody knows more about monorails than me”

I’ve been very cautious to pass judgement on him tbh. It’s not the Isak situation. He’s given us so much more, and if we’re being completely honest, the club can’t give him what he deserves right now in terms of titles and career trajectory. If he strikes, then there’s a conversation to be had.

Bryan@enviro-bryan.bsky.social · 4d ago

Also, if it comes out and Bruno says none of it was true, will there be a mass of apologies for the hate given to him? Probably not. Mainly because most will say he should have come out sooner and said something. No win I guess. #NUFC

Spent the day walking about Richmond drinking takeaway beers with a couple pals. Watching boozed amateur cricketers on the green and sinking a few cocktails by the Thames at sunset is a nice way to pass time.

“Jaymey”

Sharpie@sharpinsky.bsky.social · 4d ago

Why do you make such faces? When all’s done you look but on a bin.

Oh Jaissle, I can boogie 🕺

I’m in bits here. Best manager in my lifetime and by all accounts a great man as well. Statue one day.

NUFC Twitter Bot@nufcjournalistbot.bsky.social · 5d ago

Newcastle United (@NUFC) Memories to last a lifetime. 🖤🤍 https://t.co/kXffrrDSnS

New Manager announcement will follow shortly I’d imagine. Can’t see the club wanting it up in their air for too long.

Yep. I’m crying.

Newcastle United@newcastleunited.com · 5d ago

We can announce that Eddie Howe has informed the club of his decision to step down as head coach. The club has accepted Eddie’s decision and would like to thank him for his extraordinary contribution.