Tessera

OUR PRESIDENT IS ORANGE AND FILLS ME WITH HATE BUT BALO IS FREE US IN 8

soccer fans can are all high and mighty about this but let’s be so fr if we knew FIFA could be paid off to overturn balo’s red card last week, let’s not pretend that all of us wouldn’t have lined up to donate to that go fund me lmfao

Kai Ryssdal@kairyssdal.bsky.social · last mo.

same energy

Okay this is going to be unpopular, but Pochettino should sit Balogun tomorrow. Integrity matters, even if Trump will never understand that.

Rhy 🍉🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿@rhy.cymru · last mo.

oh please. it’s not like the world was rooting for the US before all this happened

We don't mind you getting into it, but you will need to understand your position is "the team everyone else hates and wants to suffer" alongside England

honestly, i kinda figured american soccer fans would enjoy this for like maybe 3 hours before they milkshake duck’d the balo decision

SickosFC@sickosfc.bsky.social · 3mo ago

breaking: domino’s legal team furiously trying to determine if the pizzas will be rescinded as well

Found it! Time to read the details. www.dominos.com/emergency-pi...

Ben Jacobs@jacobsben.bsky.social · last mo.

🚨 Exclusive: The White House made a direct call to FIFA to ask Gianni Infantino to review Folarin Balogun’s red card. FIFA approached for comment and referred to the findings of its independent committee.

The Scuffed Podcast@scuffed.bsky.social · last mo.

Ami@amidanruo.bsky.social · last mo.

Happy birthday, America. www.nytimes.com/athletic/742...

The Scuffed Podcast@scuffed.bsky.social · last mo.

can’t believe i’m about to quote alexi here but “canada deserves jesse marsch”

oh my god it’s happening again

who wins in a fight, the most hyped team in the tournament vs a 40 year old keeper who plays in the portuguese 2nd division? the answer may shock you

Eric Mallory Morgan@ericmakesmistakes.bsky.social · last mo.

<knicks fan voice> OUR WAFFLES ARE EGGO OUR CHIPS FRITO LAY OUR MICHELOB ULTRA USA IN EIGHT

BRING ON BELGIUM AT STARBUCKZTECA

god soccer fans are no fun like “the us is gonna lose when you play someone serious” well good thing we won our group so we don’t have to play anyone serious to get to the quarters 🤪 work smarter not harder

lmao wait

give me fair play and coin flip tiebreakers

give me fair play and coin flip tiebreakers

i miss when twitter was somewhat normal bc a sarcastic @mattdoyle.bsky.social tweet about messi breaking into mls a few years ago, or nust being MLS quota, would have done NUMBERS and a great time would have been had by all

MLS Analytics@mlsstat.bsky.social · 2mo ago

yo spain was really out here playing like that nagbe heat map

Spain 0 : 0 Cabo Verde ▫ Passes into final 1/3: 71 - 9 ▫ Passes in final 1/3: 358 - 9 ▫ Passes into opp. box: 23 - 1 #ESPvCPI

i see we’re just replaying the same storyline from the last world cup: massive favorited unable to win against a random team with like maybe 1 player you’ve heard of, going on to win a tournament

who wins in a fight, the most hyped team in the tournament vs a 40 year old keeper who plays in the portuguese 2nd division? the answer may shock you

i love the world cup bc wdym patrick beach of melbourne city and 40 year old vozinha (who plays in portuguese second division) have been the best keepers in the tournament thus far ???

possession and “momentum” stat have actually been very useful this world cup not bc they tell you that much about what the results of a game are gonna be, but in fact bc they *don’t* seem to tell you whether someone’s gonna win. they do a real good job at explaining how very weird soccer can be

the japanese national team heard the commentators calling them short over and over and over and went “okay what if we scored an equalizer via a header” and i think that’s absolutely iconic behavior

this has escaped containment on twitter and women are real, real mad about it. i’m certainly not gonna defend myself over there but over here, im just gonna say - this didn’t materialize out of nowhere! as known sickos in our communities we were asked this information by our pals (of all genders)

for the casuals, the girlies, and the goofy; for those who care more about ex-gfs than xG - a group of us usmnt sicko girlies have been working tirelessly to bring you: the “Girlies Guide to the USMNT" please enjoy and feel free to share!!!! docs.google.com/presentation...

those of you who have read section 3 of the girlies guide know how important these two pictures are is US soccer healing?????

Matthew Doyle@mattdoyle.bsky.social · 2mo ago

ITS FUCKING GAME DAY YALL graphic design is my passion, i am the photoshop* queen *i actually use apple’s “preview” for these dumb little memes

I commissioned @okayjackie.bsky.social to replace the Bud logo with Coors Banquet, the far superior shitty American lager. Now read my tactical preview!