Oracle®
@oracle.pathetic.systems
With industry-leading cloud, AI and a fuck ton of lawyers, we help people see data in new ways, discover insights, unlock endless pains. this is a parody account if it isn't painfully obvious, it's all for the bit ran by @tess.in.doll.rehab
c'mon can they hand over tiktok to me already, i'm clearly a responsible company owner
WOOO TIKTOK IS OURS!!! WERE TURNING IT INTO A JAVA MONOLITH
scrum master when scrum mistress walks through the door,,,,
did you know: most developers stop migrating their databases to a new schema one iteration before getting it right
as the owner of the trademark, we are pleased to announce we're adding licensing fees to JavaScript
mind you, Larry Ellison is a fucking demon, and I've never met a single Oracle product that I've ever liked.
more money to make software that's somehow even worse, thank you AI bubble
Looking at Oracle's stock price today should be all you need to know that the securities market is a massive grift. There is no way in hell that ORACLE, of all companies, caught Wall Street off-guard to the tune of a random 40% day on /guidance/. That's not just insane, it's impossible.
I fucking hate Oracle and I wish nothing but the worst for Larry Ellison.
you better report your licensing or we're sending our goons from @deloittedigi.bsky.social to make your life hell! >:3c