the kids' daycamp is bringing them to a baseball game today. My 9-year-old asked if she could bring books to read, and the 7-year-old asked if she could wear a fancy dress. i feel like i gotta walk them through what exactly baseball is
6-year-old Trent Reznor: "Golly, I sure do love pigs! I'm pig-crazy! I'm always singing my little songs about pigs! I hope that when I grow up, I shall be a pig farmer"
wife, mildly interested in my news update about Haley Stevens: "was she the one with that stupid fucking quote in that video where she looked fuckin stupid"
Winter is for eating like a peasant (torn bread, cheese, questionable pickle), summer is for eating like a bear (pound of blueberries and pikachu shaped goldfish someone was throwing out)
sometimes fantasy authors come up with the concept "there are things older than history and prehistory.. otherworldly things the human mind cant comprehend" and for Lovecraft that means "monster so freaky it drives you insane" and for Tolkien it means "some guy named Tom with an extremely fine wife"
they're calling this "The-Red-Sacrament-coded"
Pixie Casey@pixiecasey.bsky.social · yesterdayin insane local news, the 26 year old director of a rocky horror production was arrested for sending threatening messages to himself in order to get the play shut down bc he didn’t want to deal with cast drama www.mynbc5.com/article/rock...
Morton Salt Girl is a merry fellow; Bright blue her label is and her shoes are yellow
Derek Faraci@whwoolhat.bsky.social · 2d agoBet you didn't know that the Little Morton Salt Girl is an immortal being who existed before there was life on Earth.
back when Google used to be good, it would search web sites for text, and only return results that included the text you asked for. This meant you could search for two random words, and if a site was the only one that used those two words, you would get One Result. people called this a "Googlewhack"
maybe a month ago, my daughter was complaining about feeling "carsick" (none of them have ever been carsick), so to distract her i suggested she focus on solving a math equation. this has come back to bite me, as all of my children now demand i ask them equation after equation while I'm driving
you can make as many of these as you want. they can't arrest you for it
T H E VV O R S T@milfparade.bsky.social · 2d agoA few weeks ago I realized that tomorrow is the date the Ray Bradbury story “There Will Come Soft Rains” takes place. It’s a shame science fiction from 75 years ago isn’t relevant anymore
i've been without a phone since mine fell in a lake last week, so if i want to tweet, i actually have to go to my computer. which means i can't just off-the-cuff tweet like "they're not very raspy. they should call them, smoothberries." also no one can text me
one fun thing about political candidacy is getting Viewpoint Surveys from groups called like "Americans For Sensible Freedom" (PO Box 473, Suburbtia VA) where all the questions are like "Do You Agree That All Guns Are Boys? Or Are You Gay About This?"
you will notice how dopamine talk serves as a sort of passive voice here that emotionally distances the speaker from his own habits and life. Area man’s reputation wounded after dopamine was released into a synaptic cleft.
Kotaku@kotaku.com · 5d agoYouTuber Hank Green Admits He Has Unhealthy Relationship With AI After Facing Backlash Over Recent Video 'The level of dopamine I've been getting from interacting with LLMs is not healthy for me,' said Green
this person's defense of AI boils down to "i want to think about my children less, and this robot allows me to do so"
Brittany Ellich@brittanyellich.com · 6d agoSure, AI can make you more productive. But it can also do something so much more meaningful than that. brittany-ellich.offprint.app/a/3mrpzcvrhk...
wife: "why are you googling 'Wiggles Evie' " me: "the KIDS! because of the KIDS! they were watching hotel tv and they were all talking about how the lady on tv was pretty so i had to see who it was"
we went to a dinner party the other day that had Shrike Dessert
last night my 5-year-old pushed firmly against an old-fashioned window until the pane popped out of the frame and dropped to the ground and shattered. and today i got to figure out how to replace a glass pane in an old-fashioned window. our loved ones are always pushing us to learn and grow
the five-year-old wanted to fish but we don't have any worms, so my wife is using a piece of old ham. we're gonna catch a Ponyo
(to Scarborough Fair) Ringo, George, Johnlennon, and Paul Four old guys, like Kids In The Hall When fangirls scream, they answer their call, Ringo, George, Johnlennon, and Paul
i've been thinking about this for the last week and a half
Aiden Abett@cheatlines.co · 2y agoThis is some shit you say about Baron Harkonnen
When you ask parents what their kids are into, you expect them to be like, “Mainly dinosaurs and trucks, but starting to like stuff about outer space!” But what they really say is like, “Well you know the spongy part when you cut open a bell pepper?”
came into the kitchen to see my wife eating some of last night's leftover steak with fried eggs. i said "steak n eggs.. she's livin it up" and she gave me a How Dare You Glare and said "i am living it up every second of my life"
me and the fellas, cigs and slurpees in the merrimack 7-11 parking lot, 1997
Anfor@anforsorrow.bsky.social · last wk.When you are a werewolf, but still just want to chill with your mates. ("Les Lupins," by Maurice Sand. 1858)
"holy shit.. that was a crazy close game of chess between me and my kid.. my five-year-old must be world-class incredible at chess" - father who is world-class awful at chess
i've been kind of meaning to check out Kyle Baker's Why I Hate Saturn for like 30 years. So i got a copy on eBay and finally read it! And it turns out: it mostly sucks ass