It's great that he gets the girl at the end of Teenage Dirtbag but I feel like the part where she has a violent, armed boyfriend (or very recent ex?) is left unresolved. It's not like he's not gonna find out, they live on the same block.

You wish you could get pregnant to live out some subby forced breeding scenario. I wish I could get pregnant so I could baby trap people. We are not the same.

#notlikeotherguans

Nothing more frustrating than someone who's extremely confident but completely incorrect. And being five years old is no excuse.

it's unbecoming for a lady to talk about her hog but... well...

Test post please ignore

Wait that "we are jolly good" song is actually about Charlie Kirk? I thought people were just saying that as a joke

Cobra Starsheep - I make them good girls go baa

Shout out to all my extended family members who made 3 person group chats with me and my twin today instead of sending two happy birthday texts

Can't believe nobody's wished me a happy birthday yet

If you take the "L" out of "pool pass" it spells "poop ass"

Is there a Guinness World Record for the world's largest pronoun circle?

I miss having a husband 😔 We're still married, they just prefer "spouse" now

How long are you supposed to wait after attending a wedding before it's socially acceptable to go on a date with the bride?

happy kinky reclamation of traditional family roles day to all who celebrate

I hate when a thing is supposed to end at 10pm and then it doesn't end at 10pm

Kennywood doesn't allow people over 300 pounds on the Steel Curtain, this means 23 current Steelers would be unable to ride

Autism moment at work - my wifi cut out in the middle of someone explaining something to me on a video call, when I rejoined the rest of the team hadn't realized I lost connection because I guess sitting completely motionless and unreactive is normal for me?

Crying in the club thinking about how Lina's grandmother's dead twin was Arthur 😭

Me when the crowd has too many men 🙄 Me when the crowd has too many women 🙄 Me when the crowd has too many straight people 🙄 Me when the crowd has too many gay people 🙄 Me when the crowd has too many trans people 🙄 (I'm just autistic and I don't like crowds)

I love the 2 months out of every year where my girlfriend is 6 years older than me instead of 5 so we get to have a questionable age gap

nevermind they've since broken their PR while biking to get chickpea pasta from my spouse

rainy@itsrainy.bsky.social · last yr.

you're in their dms. they're setting personal bests on strava to come see me

Living sorta near a zoo is wild because any time I'm in my house there's a tiger about 2500 feet away

Next season of The Pitt is set during the weekend of the NFL draft

Maybe 2026 is the year I try ketamine

I'm so glad we don't live in one of those countries with socialized medicine, imagine how long the wait times would be if EVERYONE could access healthcare! Anyways I just scheduled an appointment with the only dentist in the state that takes my insurance, it's for December 15th

What goes uppies must come down

"Don't worry babe, I'll wear the strap tonight" *tightening the joy-con around my wrist*

Thinking about how the vegan shells saved my life three months ago

cedar :3@foraged-mushrooms.bsky.social · 8mo ago

riccotte stuffed shells & vegan stuffed shells :3

riccotte stuffed shells & vegan stuffed shells :3