after two months of these two cats living together, now she hunts him for sport and entertainment and he yelps sadly and runs away. he’ll go to sleep in his cat bed to get some peace and quiet and she’ll manifest next to him and start whacking until he screams
crimes@relationshipcrimes.bsky.social · 2mo agoWe got a new cat and he sits outside her door mewling sadly so that he can be let in. I open the door. She hisses at him. I close the door. He sits outside her door mewling sadly
modern lqg who masturbates (important distinction.) doing so by fucking his strap into a fake hole masturbator toy. it works.
make liu qingge pregnant and have no idea who the father is
do you think... if you carefully opened a sleeping vampires mouth and punctured yourself with their fangs..... they would take over the biting and start sucking without waking up.... asking for no reason.......
qijiu having sex for the first time and yqy thinks sj must have learned these incredible skills at the brothel :( (sj is in fact Not Very Good At It)
using fountain pens is great because when you’re working on a written work you acquire so many inkstains on your hands that you feel like you actually did something tangible
sj learning everything about lqg's preferences so he can make recommendations to lqg that perfectly suit his tastes. he likes that lqg has to choose between A) refusing sj's suggestion and depriving himself of something he'd like or B) obediently do what sj told him to
happy pride, here's this Actual Dialogue From Disco Elysium again
One of my cats is the most tolerant good natured fat bowling ball ever. He is desperate to groom and take care of to all other cats. Even if other cats hiss at him he will still try to groom them. But due to the nature of cats generally, all other cats can’t stand his overbearing ass. Yue Qingyuan
Rip to Tianlang-Jun you would have loved being Su Xiyan’s discord kitten
nice moves, shidi.... unfortunately in the time it took you to draw your sword, i drew you nine months pregnant
thinking of liu qingge with a phone actually is so funny like he is not answering that thing
now that the worst week of the work year has concluded i can finally return to writing yaoi
sometimes obsidian will endlessly redownload and resync plugins you've deleted and i take immense satisfaction in going to the plugins folder and deleting the thing manually and watching obsidian send pathetic helpless error messages trying to load the plugin i deleted 7 times
(tartah voice) this is my girlfriend coco, and this is coco's girlfriend agott
My dumb ass never connected together that the coliseum of fools has king fool sitting in the seat of honor to watch the games in the same way that godseeker sits on her throne to watch the battles
hey. transmasc nyy struggling with the fact that sqq, who has doted on him so thoroughly his entire childhood, completely rejects him once he knows nyy is a boy. nyy forcing himself back in the closet so he can be sqq's favorite again. nyy who never really feels safe around sqq again
One thing I’ve been mulling over is that Shen Qingqiu seems to consider it his duty and responsibility as Luo Binghe’s teacher to make Luo Binghe a “strong stallion protagonist”—which includes Shen Qingqiu believing it is his responsibility to brainscorch Luo Binghe in the abyss
I had to put the book down because the third terror was making me too sad
hollow knight really sets you up for the classic jrpg final boss of fighting your fuck ass evil dad who is also god. but then it turns out the actual final boss is the fuck ass evil woman who hates your dad and is also god. women in male dominated fields
Because I am 5’3” and wear youth shoes size 4 I am therefore minor coded and this is why it’s impossible for me to open any child safety lock on a bottle of vitamins
hornet silksong is always saying shit like "i won't risk my life for you" right before she risks her life for someone
I was doing so well for a few weeks but now I have my button over the “delete work” button on ao3 again
hoyoverse blatantly stealing shit from small creators is what’s going to make me finally uninstall
>"hello manager do we need to use these funds before a deadline" >manager: no of course not we have more time >business office: actually you need to use this in two days >manager: ok buy a gift card literally right now & the business office will reimburse you >go online to buy gift card >declined
trying to call your bank is just repeatedly saying "i want to speak to a human" until you've bludgeoned the automatic voice system to death
