Zero
@scootercomputer.bsky.social
America's Sweetiepie. You have to be nice to me on the internet.
I woulda been so good at stirring a pot of beans while sitting out on the prairie with a bunch of cowboys who all called me "Cookie"
Cowboys with social anxiety setting a time for a duel and hoping the other cancels
"Oh you like tattoos? Check this out" Lifts shirt to show off massive Mario Teaches Typing back-tat
You want me to play games on a PC? You mean the tool of my enemy (work)?
It's not time theft, my frame rate is just dropping below 30
More proof there should be a 4 day work week? Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches only come in a pack of 4
"Buh, you didn't need to remake Ocarina of Time! Just play the old one!" Have you played the old one recently? It controls like trying to fuck a tank.
Children of Men a 2006 movie set in 2027 where no one can have children. Meanwhile in real life, it's almost 2027 and no one can afford to have children. Also measles is back.
Explaining the 4 Day Work Week to Americans: "imagine a Labor Day weekend every weekend"
I constantly think about how it hasn't changed since fucking *2009*
America's Final Dad@finaldad.bsky.social · 2d agoI'm tired of people who never worked minimum wage minimizing the effect of the federal minimum wage stagnating
My sources at Nintendo says they are eventually going to make a new Mario game, please give me a lot of attention and money for this important leaked information
Meet me outside the Dennys, I am about to go Moons Over My Slammy on your ass
going to Lowe’s and looking at the outrageous prices and saying “more like High’s, with THESE prices, ha ha. am i right??” every time an employee walks by
"I can remember when eggs were $1" ass voice to describe 5 years ago
"The path forward in America is for the people who think healthcare should be free to compromise with the people who think vaccines are turning babies into half-spider half-human mutants"
CEOs discovered a new cost saving move, called Not Paying You.
"Harry, it's Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Houdini! You know that new trick you were looking for? Well listen to *this*" [The sound of someone getting punched in the stomach]
Henchmen really need to reclaim the word 'goon' from weird perverts
I bet turning into a werewolf actually feels pretty good but Hollywood just makes it look painful so we don't even try
Tired: Games need an easy mode Wired: Big Walk needs a friendless mode
a utopia in which we are free to cherish friends and family and create art without the bonds of wage slavery
Nintendeal@nintendeal.com · 5d agoshare your most unrealistic expectations for the Nintendo Direct
People hate to admit it, but this is what peak 39 years old looks like
"In my bad boy era," I whisper as I slide on my Bowser slippers