Skip, the Online Raccoon
@badposter.lol
they call me the Big Dawg . just a normal dude , not a dog , and i”m average normal sized .
i was in line at the grocery store and this guy was yelling (he had down syndrome) and this kid, had to be at least 15, turned to his dad and said “what the fuck is wrong with him” & i kid you not, his dad said “he’s r*tarded”. it took everything in me to not dump my hot mac n cheese on his head.
so apparently those little plastic caps that they use to baby proof power outlets are also adult proof too, cause i couldnt get it off with my finger, so naturally i used the metal chisel in my toolbelt. yeah. i know.
imagine a really French guy saying amphetamine. What a beautiful name for a baby girl
idk man, i’m not pro-military or anything but in a country that strokes itself over war and military power, i think it’s baffling that they put citizenship status before the fact that some of the people they’re deporting literally fought and risked their life to serve this country.
bro are you checking out my eyes? are you gay? bro? are you fucking checking out my baby blues? huh bro?
Wonder if I should bring back Little Nasty Ass, or if im nasty enough as it is...
telling my carnivorous wife that I must’ve gotten cyclospora from a toilet seat
for those who celebrate: it is the 20th anniversary of a funny dog eat a pepsi.
goals for tonight: - maybe count past 47 sheep this time and having to start over because i forgot what comes next - good dreams - dont let any bed bugs nibble my knees
[getting stabbed 17 times in the stomach by a random guy i’ve never met before] “it’s fine i deserve this”
yall i really hate to ask for help but i have a past due balance on my health insurance of $117.50, as well as about $300 for my school tuition that my scholarship doesn't cover. total i need about $420 venmo/cashapp: ecs5678 any help appreciated! i will update with totals periodically 🤕
They should invent a Deluxe Partnership with Exclusive Rewards and Bonuses
feeling like a dodo bird the way our species is stupidly leading itself to extinction at a rapid rate
“square cut pizza” hey now don’t talk like that. a real stud could’ve cut that pizza and you wouldn’t even know
(wesley willis voice) LICK A CAMELS BUTTHOLE, SUCK A CHEETAHS ASS, PUT YOUR TONGUE IN A WILDEBEESTS ANUS
sorry I can’t tonight, I’m crawling into the soft hollow of a fig and laying all my eggs and dying
yesterday my wife made turkey n’ white bean soup for dinner, so today i took the leftovers and turned it into ramen with soup dumplings, avocado and green onions
save this post for the next time you encounter an evil troll with a sinister curse, perhaps it’ll come in handy
writig a sequel to man in the high castle call man in the double wide trailer
