"There! Touch me there, Ted! YES! Gently caress my artificial hip--!" "Honey--" "Don't break the mood! Why aren't you aroused?" "Well this isn't really--" "You SAID you wanted forbidden thrills and a 'different' love--NOW FINGER MY TITANIUM BALL JOINT!"

Soylent Green is PEOPLE! served with a zesty salsa verde.

I think it's fair to say that in MAZES AND MONSTERS (1982) Tom Hanks had not yet found his instrument. But the cop played by Murray Hamilton (the Mayor from JAWS) is hilarious, lecturing a sweater-vested, D&D-playing nerd with the fast-talking contempt of Joe Friday tongue-lashing a hippie on acid.📽️

"Dammit! Why do they always keep the sacrificial knives on these little chains? It's so annoying! They do the same thing to those goddamn pens at the bank!"

Has the Odyssey translator weighed in on the new Spider-Man movie yet?

film you've watched more than six times with a gif. hard mode: no star trek, star wars, lotr, marvel, disney, or ghibli media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2l...

Electrifying Sci-Fi GIF by FilmStruck - Find & Share on GIPHY

GIPHY image by FilmStruck

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Remember, after 9/11, when the Bush, Jr. Admin brought a bunch of screenwriters into the Pentagon to brainstorm terror attacks? I'm sure they pitched a lot of ideas. I'm also sure they kept the GOOD ideas to themselves for their next screenplays. www.cnn.com/2026/08/03/p...

Exclusive: US military asks troops for ‘creative and unconventional’ ideas to punish Iran | CNN Politics

The request from a senior officer at the US military command carrying out President Donald Trump’s war with Iran came in an email: We need ideas.

cnn.com

GUNMAN: Do it NOW, or ELSE! SCIENTIST: I'm TRYING, but...! GUNMAN: I WANNA WATCH THE ROBOT KISS MY WIFE! SCIENTIST: O-KAY, but I...I don't have a button for that! HER: I told you, Harry, just put an ad in a swinger's magazine. This is getting us nowhere.

"Stand back, Gwen! Imma bout to go full Joan Crawford on this bitch!" 📽️

MEANWHILE, as the Multiverse began to collapse, Shaka Zulu found himself fighting the Mexican bandits from Treasure of the Sierra Madre on the steps of the Paris Opera House.

"Awright fellas, let's all remain calm, now. Nobody shoot. I think what's happened is, we got ourselves stuck in one'a them Pointin' Spider-Man memes..."

Barefoot and raggedy, they lived in a tumbledown shanty with only their love to keep them warm at night, while he eked out a meager living digitally resizing photographs.

Joe Versus the Volcano (1990) I don’t care what anyone says…Meg Ryan Peter Sellars’d the HELL out of that movie. 📽️

I hesitate to make assumptions about people I've never met who are probably long dead by now, but I think it's pretty clear this artist had never seen an octopus before. Or a black person.

I'm pretty sure this is a Japanese porn title.

"Somebody should tell his wife." "That he's gay?" "No, that he drowns his t-bone in ketchup like some dolt from Queens." "Oh. Right." "But we should probably lead with the gay thing."

HER: You're the most incompetent bra-fitter I've ever seen! HIM: Please, ma'm! It's my first day!

HER: You've cheated on me for the last time, Bob! HIM: Wow. If looks could kill... HER: Looks CAN kill, Bob--MY FACE IS MURDER!, and I'm going to STARE AT YOU until you DIE! (PAUSE) HIM: Taking awhile. HER: (LOOKS AT WATCH, YAWNS, WHISTLES IDLY, DOES A POCKET PUZZLE) Okay fuck it, Plan B: (BLAM!)

Gallant got plenty of sleep and was on time and alert for their friend's funeral. Goofus stayed up all night and is a sleepy greasy fuck.

Middle Age Riot@middleageriot.bsky.social · last wk.

Stop posting insane bullshit at 2 a.m. and maybe you'll be able to stay awake during a friend's funeral, you greasy fuck.

It disappears REALLY fast when you bury it in a shallow grave and then just shovel in extra quicklime to compensate for the depth. Anybody else remember Big Dip? Or any brand of Ice Milk? In a box?

LADY: You're the gunfighter I hired? I'm not impressed. MAN: Lady, you're lookin' at the deadliest shot an' the fastest gun west of Abilene. LADY: Prove it. Let's skeet shoot! MAN: What? LADY: Pull! (CRASH!) MAN: Ow! What the fu-- LADY: Think fast! MAN: NOT THE FACE--! (CRASH!)

As San Diego Comic Con winds down, a fight breaks out at the Snack Bar over the last pupusa.

HER: Thanks for helping me prep for my sex toy party, Bob. I'll show those Tupperware bitches I know how to sell!...This one's called the Torch of Desire™ and features a heated tip for only $9.99. HIM: Soothing. HER: Next we have the Peg O' My Heart® Strap-On, for a surprisingly affordable $12.50.

HER: Oh no! Looks like the Graboids got Bob.

PHOTO AP: Mitch McConnell enjoys a late summer bbq with two of his aides.

While Casey was omnipresent on radio and in various voice acting roles in animation, let's not forget how riveting he could be on screen: #AT40 📽️ open.substack.com/pub/clevenge...

The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971)

Watch Bruce Dern inject Marilyn Munster with ketamine so he can hot-glue hillbillies in peace.

open.substack.com

HER: Toss this fuckin' guy into the rotary an' make him fight the monstah! GUARD: Uh, we call that the "arena" now-- HER: Whatevah, it's wicked pissah. Hey! Where's my Dunks? GUARD: You take it black? HER: Whaddya stupid? Gimme a regulah. And put some Jimmies on it!

"I don't even know what you're MAD about...!" "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

Philip Koop 🇨🇦@philkoop.bsky.social · 2w ago

One looks one way, one looks the other way ... 🪶

Someone in the Administration should tell Trump he shouldn't start building his Victory Arch until he stops losing his war.

It was the most star-crossed romance imaginable. He was a fish. She was a fruit. Separated by land and sea, they miraculously got together only when Grandma, in the midst of baking a dozen pies for the Lutheran Church dinner, suffered a psychotic break.