A woman five years my junior thought that I was younger than she. Either my deep commitment to immaturity or the Botox is working as intended.
Serious Llama
@seriousllama.bsky.social
Once Murder Muppet and always @benharris1.bsky.social’s Person, fan of camelids, & etc. DC will always be home, but my heart also belongs to CA, CO, and NM.
It was a boots and champagne kind of day, which is a a perfect way to pass the time on a rainy afternoon.
🚨 You can now sign up to testify at the Nov. 5 Council Committee hearing on “Heightened Federal Law Enforcement and National Guard Activities in the District”: lims.dccouncil.gov/Hearings/hea... Stay tuned for info on a virtual testimony prep session in partnership with Defend DC Education.
I wish I had a witty or insightful way to convey it, but it just sucks seeing the National Guard in my city. They’ve been branching out into residential areas for a few months, especially those with larger minority populations. The Hill and the Wilson Building are silent on the matter.
Loving my Minoxidil-enhanced eyelashes. The luscious mustache and chin hairs are a leeetle less welcome and less gender affirming.
This evening I ripped out a dead shrub by its extensive roots. I want to stuff and mount that thing like a game fish.
Brilliant thing I just saw: a “pints and pokes” promotion that brings seasonal vaccination clinics to beer gardens
Me: Why do I keep putting of simple, necessary house projects? Also me, while doing these simple projects: Dammit! Oh, fuck me! How?! Why?! Another broke drill bit? Amazing.
The over-tired puppy wouldn’t settle, so I put on some Baroque standards. No luck. The newly released Morphine album worked a treat, however.
Flying on an ancient CRJ is a good reminder that, yes, seat pitch is a huge part of flying comfort, and no, thinner seat cushions don’t come close to making up for the lost legroom inches.
Hat tip to Canadiens’ advertisers Hellmans, Tim Hortons…and Wegovy.
My DC-born mother just called DCA “Reagan,” so now I have to cancel our trip.
“Choose a minimal number of your favorite liquids or pay a $50-$75 suitcase ransom” is the least fun travel game we’ve all been playing for 20 years.
Puppy experts: Puppies, whose growth plates haven’t closed, should walk five min per month of age, 2x/day. My puppy: I HAVE URGENT BUSINESS IN ALL FOUR QUADRANTS OF THIS CITY. LFG!
I want to go out to the thing I have tickets for. Also, naps rule. This is my most minor of my midlife crises.
Puppy has learned that her persons are very attentive when she goes to the back door; we sprint to make sure she gets outside in time to go potty. So today she’s started pawing the door quite frequently asking to go to the yard for funsies. Clever girl.
Thinking about throwing monthly parties just to have a reason to buy Costco sheet cakes.
The puppy slept through the night 🙏. It’s amazing how much brighter and more welcoming the world seems when I sleep well!
Last night @benharris1.bsky.social and I overheard someone say “Ah, French champagne.” It did not appear to be an Orson Welles/Paul Masson send up.
Excellence Muah
Alt: Orson Welles filming the Paul Masson commercial that begins with him declaring “Ahhh, the French champagne.”
static.klipy.com
TFW the group text members have gone to bed and you urgently need to discuss the sugar daddy-baby date you just witnessed.
Me, any time I cook on my induction stovetop:
Insane Clown Posse: F***ing Magnets, How Do They Work?
Alt: Insane Clown Posse: “Fucking magnets, how do they work?”
static.klipy.com
My father’s favorite daughter gets to ride in the front seat while my husband and I slum it in the back.
Skyla the pup went to a party and *loved* seeing dog friends and having a chance to meet so many people of all ages.
If you're going to use a "fake" email on your hotel reservation, make sure that that email does not belong to a real person. Anyway, I hope other Serious Llama sorts out her canceled hotel reservation and learns not to have her emails sent to me.
Said “Ew!” out loud at the coffee shop because the otherwise reasonable recipe I was reading contained dates.
Gross Yuck
Alt: The character David from Schitt’s Creek with his wrists curled in front of his chest, brow lowered, and mouth drawn sideways, indicating disgust
static.klipy.com