I don't tell Communist jokes because MAGA may not understand them, and Communist jokes are only funny when everyone gets them.

Your groceries need a hazmat team, but sure, let’s hold another hearing about masks.

America’s chain of command is just billionaires tugging on Trump’s leash from different directions.

Congress: “We’ve tried nothing and we’re fresh out of ideas.”

I have a stalker on Bluesky. I blocked them and they came back wearing a fake mustache and a new handle.

Our administration dropped felony vandalism charges against David Hearn and admitted the Reflecting Pool fiasco was the contractor's fault. Is Hearn even going to say thank you? by J.D. Vance

The Trump presidency has been the longest record scratch in American history.

The climate scientists Trump fired set up their own nonprofit climate science website. givebutter.com/climate-for-...

Thanks for the delivery InstaCart but I just wanted groceries, not a relationship, so stop texting me.

“Are you better off than you were four bathroom trips ago?”

Trump finally admits he likes something with “black” in the title.

Sure, if by energy you mean rage-posting through a pharmaceutical fog.

If Trump really wants to punish Iran he should go be its president for a few months.

"I kept the faith through 91 indictments, 34 felonies, and 2 impeachments. What finally broke me was when he said there was no Epstein list.”

Without the beard, JD Vance looks like that guy who stole Pee-Wee Herman’s bike.

Every conversation I’ve had with my MAGA relatives for the last ten years distilled into three sentences.

Bold defense by Max Miller. Next up, “The frying pan and her face were just doing trust exercises.”

Happy August! Starting this month, Republicans have kicked off ~5 million vets, kids and parents from food assistance.

Tehran ate his lunch and kept the tray.

I'd like everyone to stop whatever they're doing and just simply appreciate the person who took this picture of Mitch.

The guy in charge of negotiating peace with Iran couldn’t even paint the reflecting pool without fucking it up.

After years of reflecting Lincoln, the Reflecting Pool finally reflects our current leadership.

The Al law in California says fake content has to identify itself. Truth Social just filed for an exemption on religious grounds.

She wants a civil war because Thanksgiving arguments aren’t producing enough casualties.

Out to dinner and was thinking I’d have the sautéed calamari but then I thought any animal that can outsmart a Trump supporter doesn't belong in a basket with a lemon wedge.

The investigation has now entered its most dangerous phase: Trump typing in capital letters.

Cooking for my niece.

The lie lasted longer than the installation.

It's amazing how quickly “If you've got nothing to hide…” became “On the advice of counsel...”

Obama always chooses his words carefully.