Argon Dreamcast Evangelion
@synthandlasers.bsky.social
"You’re good at posting. I just hate what you post." -A man named Roger
When that Street Fighter movie ends up being a weird amount about Ken not believing in himself, and his moment of clarity comes during his fight against Chun-Li, and he actually does the fucking EVO Moment 37, I expect a handjob from each and every one of you
“Does pineapple belong on pizza?” My brother in Christ, who cares? Have you ever ordered a pizza? They can put stuff on just one side of the pizza and put other stuff on the other side of the pizza. You can eat pizza however the fuck you want.
When I die and use my respawn timer to grab a sip of my beer and I start hearing rez sound effects
I can't stop thinking about this text a dude I only know from a random downtown bar sent me in the middle of the night. Especially juxtaposed with the end of the last conversation we were having
"I asked ChatGPT this" "I asked Claude that" Yeah, well, I communed with the stars and they, um, they actually called you, like, seriously no fewer than like half a dozen different slurs that I do not feel comfortable repeating. Made me pretty uncomfortable, if I'm being honest...
So like, do you think Ganfalf; the cat from the internet, not the wizard; has developed a sense of the concept of time and the days of the week, because of her Monday graham crackers? Ivan Pavlov: Shut it the fuck down
When someone discovers the secret recipe for restaurants' signature sauces
"Ew you watch TikTok? Isn't that just all girls dancing in bikinis? My Algorithm:
"Cigarettes are bad for you, bro. You know they put rat poison in those" Uh, whatever. Warn me when they put people poison in them. I'm not a mouse, dude.
At work, they call me the Task Manager. Because I've lost Control of this Shift and I want to Escape...
Hot Take: Prefacing a majority consensus opinion as a hot take, kinda gives away that you don't know what a hot take is
Tummyache Update: Nashville hot chicken and McGillicuddy's Menthol is a WILD combination to throw up
Me: *goes out to the bar and has a surprisingly pleasant conversation with a random stranger* Stranger: "Have a good night, Brian. Good seeing you again" Me:
Shoutouts to the customer tonight who ordered an Impossible burger with bacon added. The implausible burger. The unlikely burger. The probably not burger.
Me, acutely aware that I have GERD, immediately after slugging down a Nashville hot chicken at work:
Me, Young, Naïve: "I think the future will have flying cars and solutions to many of humanity's greatest problems!" The Future:
I want to go on Hot Ones just to show off how much milk I can drink.
She chuck on my cheese til my dave bust 'er
The thing about Beauty and the Beast that I never hear anyone talk about is that there is an immensely powerful sorceress just traipsing around 18th century France. She turned a CHILD into a CUP for YEARS just because his mom's boss was kind of a dick. And she's still out there
Watching the new Spider-Man the way Marvel intended (a series of blurry, out of sequence, leaked phone recordings in Italian)
People from NYC will be like, "Only we have bodegas. You don't have bodegas, you just have..." and then proceed to describe precisely what a bodega is
I have whatever mental illness it is that requires me to recite any octosyllablic phrase I read or hear to the tune of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song
People go off all the time about how odd they think it is when somebody has two first names. My weird thing is when someone's first and last name are both four letters long. Like, get outta here you fuckin' knuckle tattoo
Nina and Porter FINALLY dropped the damn thing. It's like Christmas for people who like music that sounds like a Lisa Frank notebook made entirely out of 1s and 0s getting injected directly into your brain stem youtu.be/Ob_EDY9Eiis?...
Ninajirachi & Porter Robinson - WannaCry [Official Visualiser]
YouTube video by Ninajirachi
youtu.be
A word that frustrates me that the internet seems to not understand is "overrated". It doesn't mean, "the popular thing actually sucks because I'm an uninteresting hipster edgelord". Just that, sometimes the hype around a thing doesn't really match its quality. Even amazing things can be overrated
