Clinton J. Boomer
@thatboomerkid.bsky.social
I write — and write about — roleplaying games.
applying for that job at Omelas where the utopian society is fueled by constant unimaginable suffering of a child already uploaded my CV & now just filling out all the forms again by hand with all the same info lol wish me luck; things have been prEtsy bleak out here for your boy
WHICH ONE (1) WOULD *YOU* RATHER SEE? a) SHARK LAKE or b) SWAN-NADO?
Me: “He’s a 550-point Gangrel Sheriff with Dementation, Visceratika, & a grudge against the Sabbat! Devon: what? Me: “HE‘S a 45-year-old divorced father of 3 with severe depression & ADHD! Devon: Wow. Me: “THEY FIGHT CRIME. FOR THE CAMARILLA.” Devon: Me: The second one is me. Devon: Got that.
them: y’know maybe an “Epstein List” isn’t something that comes from a DOJ, or a CIA, or a Mossad them: maybe the REAL epstein list is the friendships ████ made along the way them: you ever think about that? no, you only think about yourself us: so we’re gonna have to start stacking bodies, huh?
Andor is so good that i’m legitimately angry its Star Wars Star Wars: A Media Franchise™️©️ includes some of the most dogshit, nakedly cash-grab cultural detritus ever produced, and is ALSO a gross engine of exploitation owned by some of the worst people to ever live Andor f’n too good for Star Wars
Someday I‘ll admire what appears to be an illustration & be informed the image is Ai It’ll feel, I think, much like I bit into a brownie that turned out to be Actual Shit™️ I won‘t be convinced that the slop was “art all along” I‘ll be convinced that some folks can’t be trusted not to shit in food
dear Edgar Wright & Stephen King, i am very sorry that I did not see “The Running Man“ this weekend and won’t see it next weekend; it is NOT because i don‘t want to 😞 we’re just wrapping up this whole “civilization“ thing at the moment and film-viewership is down thanks again for everything! 🥰
“It’s almost 2026; a decade ago I was promised sex-robots by now! Where’s MY sex-robot!? Waah waah waaah!” that’s what you whiny crybabies sound like Elon Musk has been sticking his genitals in toasters & trying to trick a machine into smiling at him for OVER TEN FUCKING YEARS you ungrateful shits
i feel like this year a lot of you have forgotten the true meaning of Toyotathon
a reminder to anyone with more money than the rest of us: you are playing the Ultimatum Game! 😊 did you know that larger rats, when play-fighting, will purposefully lose about 30% of the time? this is because social animals instinctively experience intense joy at the opportunity to eat defectors!
Sound of Music 2 Sound 2 Music SoM3: Sounder The So¥nd 4 Mu$ic Hills!: Musicer SIXound VonTrapps vs. Arch-Hitler Seven of Music 8Sound/Music8 Th9 Soun9 o9 Von Trapps “A Hawaiian Total Mystery!” Lisel’s Vegas Wedding [Untitled Baron Von Trapp Prequel] Scooby meets the Von Trapps/ Harlem Globetrotters
actually she’s only a ‘MILF’ if John Cho from the East Great Falls region of Michigan, circa 1999, wanted to fuck her otherwise she’s just a sparkling cougar
they should invent a version of namaste that means, like, “the tism in me vibes at the same frequency as the tism in you, my friend“ and another one that means “yeah lady i’m sure your kid is on the spectrum; as the grown adult selling them elf-cards, now pls stop interrupting our rad conversation”
Your FLGS Magical thGathering post-game etiquette guide (it *WILL* be enforced!): Optimal: “Good game.” Suboptimal: “Fuck your deck, pickle-shart.” Inappropriate: “In response I disrobe; your scoop does NOT resolve. Now sit back down so Mommy can spank your naughty little tush the way she likes.”
The one thing I do appreciate about the US is that no other culture I have ever encountered would produce a folksong where the devil challenges a kid to a duel in an obvious morality play about hubris and then the kid just absolutely kicks his ass and wins the fiddle Moreover, ICE must be destroyed
Cleric: You’re SURE this is safe? Wizard: I believe it was Dr. Hugo Strange, Chief of Medicine at Arkham Asylum, who said “fuck it, it’s not like this’ll make the Joker *more * crazy: let’s fire up them electrodes.” Cleric: Cleric: ooh that’s not good Barbarian: Hurry UP! My wig glue is drying!
Paladin: b-but what would the FOUNDING FATHERS think? Warlock: i don’t give one hot & greasy pickle-shart what the Founding Fucking Fath- Barbarian: ACTUALLY Barbarian: yeah uh *actually* it’s “The Thouding They-bors”. Barbarian: so … Warlock: ew i hate that Paladin: yeah wow NO ONE likes that
Barbarian: GAH Cleric: Oh? Pickle jar again? Heh. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” Barbarian: DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Cleric: Cleric: My apologies; do feel free to imagine Sisyphus however you like. Barbarian: THANK YOU. Cleric: (resumes reading scripture) Barbarian: (goes, gets chainsaw)
USA Photo of the year
