This one was better than my line so I'm sharing. Had to screenshot.
Christopher Moore@theauthorguy.bsky.social · 21h agoSQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! DRYEST EVER MOTHERFUDGING SQUIRREL OF THE DAY!
Christopher Moore
@theauthorguy.bsky.social
Satire is my business. NY Times bestselling author of 19 novels, including Lamb, Fool, Noir, Razzmatazz, and Anima Rising (released May 2025).
Christopher Moore@theauthorguy.bsky.social · 21h agoHe's so dry your eyes get chapped looking at him.
Christopher Moore@theauthorguy.bsky.social · 21h agoSQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! DRYEST EVER MOTHERFUDGING SQUIRREL OF THE DAY!
SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! DRYEST EVER MOTHERFUDGING SQUIRREL OF THE DAY!
AlanoftheNovels@alanofthenovels.bsky.social · 22h agoMay I share a squirrel? This fellow at the Grand Canyon seemed pretty sure my wife had something of his and he was determined she should give it back.
SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! MOTHERFUDGING GHOST SQUIRREL OF THE DAY!
Ashton Pittman@ashtonpittman.bsky.social · 4d agoA squirrel on the back porch. #squirrel
It was explained to me once, by a patient Englishman, that the reason we know that The Dog's Bollocks are so special is because he licks them all the time.
Austin Tichenor@austintichenor.bsky.social · 3d agoPossible 4th book in the trilogy, in which Pocket opens up a shop in Edinburgh. What say you, @theauthorguy.bsky.social?
And not a goddamn person will ask why the President yammered on like a fucking lunatic about vandals for a month and half WHEN THERE WERE NONE.
Allison Gill@muellershewrote.com · 5d agoBREAKING: Pirro has dismissed the case against Davey Hearn for vandalizing the reflecting pool, saying that there's no way vandals could have caused the damage.
Super worried about everyone's fundraising deadlines. If only someone would send me a text letting me know where they stand.
"More people who lost coverage after congressional Republicans ended enhanced federal subsidies are now seeking care in emergency rooms and unable to pay bills." www.nytimes.com/2026/07/30/b...
After Obamacare Cuts, Hospitals Are Treating More Uninsured Patients
More people who lost coverage after congressional Republicans ended enhanced federal subsidies are now seeking care in emergency rooms and unable to pay bills.
nytimes.com
Just a note, Piggy is taking out acres of Washington, D.C.'s iconic cherry trees to expand a golf course.
ContempraInn 🌹@contemprainn.bsky.social · 2w agoChina’s largest cherry blossom 🌸garden — Pingba in Guizhou Province. Home to more than half a million stunning cherry trees, it has become one of China 🇨🇳 most breathtaking natural landscapes.🌸
SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! MOTHERFUDGING ART LESSON SQUIRREL OF THE DAY!
Artologica aka Michele Banks @artologica.net · 2w agoArt historians refer to this effect as Chiarosquirrelo
I am as swift as the wind you did not even see me go by now I will kill you PLAY i will rip out your throat, i will chew off your ear PLAY you are dead, i will eat your body PLAY
Luca@lucagalletti.bsky.social · 2w agoDachshunds do not know how little they are 😂 TT: Jacky & Cola
One of my neighbors is torturing a saxophone. Do I have a responsibility to intervene?
Squirrel of the Day! Squirrel of the Day! Motherfudging Sheila Squirrel of the Day!
Tracey Cronin, Ph.D.@tcronin50.bsky.social · 2w agoSheila is here to remind me that her and her kiddos grace the pottery throwing area with their squirrelly magic, AND that it requires an abundance of nuts to keep the magic flowing properly.
Regardless of what the FDA says, what we learned is that Taylor Farms is a big donor to Piggy's Pac, and how to identify their products, so the takeaway is, never buy any of their products again. Ever.
Shhh, shhh, shhh. No, it's fine. Maximus went to live on a farm with a nice family.
PK@pk522.bsky.social · 2w agoI didn't know there were Australians in the Roman Legion or was Gladiator all a lie as well?
I’ve decided to be retroactively angry about Kevin Costner’s Robinhood from 1991. There were no Americans in the 1200s. And don’t get me started on Russell Crowe as Noah.
SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE MOTHERFUDGING DAY!
Artologica aka Michele Banks @artologica.net · 2w agoSquirrel of the Day for July 20, 2026 peers cautiously at the week ahead #sqrlpix
GOOD LUCK HAVE FUN DON’T DIE On Disney+ Hulu. Give it a look. Great cast, super weird piece of satire.
Virgo: Stop waiting for perfection. Take the pile of shit that is your life and build something.
It looks like all of Canada is on fire. The least we can do, and I do mean the very least, is not be dicks about it. (Lookin at you, Piggy.)
Was unaware of the Never-ending Pasta Clause of the Constitution, but will ask my server about it.
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3w agoWhite House spokesperson Abigail Jackson: "I saw a tweet yesterday from Olive Garden that in order to take advantage of their never-ending pasta pass, you have to show photo ID. I thought, that's weird, Olive Garden takes pasta pass security more seriously than Democrats take election security."
You can't complain about news coverage of your speeches on the same day you announce you are going to charge for advanced notice of market-moving announcements out of the White House.
He's also hearing some interesting things from his people in Hawaii about Obama's birth certificate.
Christopher Moore@theauthorguy.bsky.social · 3w agoSo weird,we are waiting for a Presidential address that we already know is going to be nothing but paranoid lies to facilitate the Administration's interference with the mid terms and online bots are the only ones acting like it's not a scam. Feels like Kafka outlined it.
So weird,we are waiting for a Presidential address that we already know is going to be nothing but paranoid lies to facilitate the Administration's interference with the mid terms and online bots are the only ones acting like it's not a scam. Feels like Kafka outlined it.
Yes, I know you voted for explosive diarrhea, but I thought that was a metaphor for your candidate's speeches.