Not to be dramatic but I think I deserve financial compensation for having a uterus

I thought when I stopped eating fish mercury in retrograde wouldn’t affect me.. but that bitch has hands

But BDC stands for Big Dick Committee 

Devi 🦇@deviwestside.bsky.social · last wk.

I was today years old when I realized BBC didn’t stand for British breakfast crumpets

Some of you have never rode on an 8 foot mechanical dick and it shows

Jesus take the wheel while I plug in the AUX

sad girls in your area wanna hang out and steal your medications

Hot girls are depressed

Hot girls hit curbs

Bounce on it in the name of Jesus

iPhone needs a 3% warning cause that 10% dont scare me enough to get the charger

It’s so exhausting carrying around 32 flavors of that bootlicious bubblegum

This was me this morning except I was looking to a butter knife

Devi 🦇@deviwestside.bsky.social · 2w ago

I opened a Red Bull and put it down somewhere so now I’m walking around my apartment like

Cheating on Chili’s with The Cheesecake Factory

use a gif, pic, or vid to share how you are feeling today

Conan O'Brien's Office Temper Tantrum

ALT: Conan O'Brien's Office Temper Tantrum

static.klipy.com

Devi 🦇@deviwestside.bsky.social · 3w ago

use a gif, pic, or vid to share how you are feeling today

If he spam likes all your pictures, go and like all the pictures of him and his girl

Some dude in my apartment complex named Colin pissed off some chick so now she’s outside screaming at him..

If you have sex on Halloween is that a Monster Mash or a Graveyard smash 🤔

"Can I pick your brain" yes please lobotomize me

⊹ name: Megs ⊹ height: 5’2 ⊹ star sign: Gemini ♊️ ⊹ nicknames: Megs, Meggy, Megatron ⊹ siblings: 2 ⊹ relationship: Taken ⊹ crushing on: someone ⊹ fav season: spring and fall ⊹ pets: 2 cats and a cowboy corgi ⊹ fav color: green, black, pink ⊹ live: Nebraska

Devi 🦇@deviwestside.bsky.social · 4w ago

⊹ name: Devi ⊹ height: 5’4 ⊹ star sign: Aries ♈️ ⊹ nicknames: Devi, Devi The Simp Magnet ⊹ siblings: 3 ⊹ relationship: single ⊹ crushing on: he doesn’t go here ⊹ fav season: spring and fall ⊹ pets: 2 cats and a Weiner dog ⊹ fav color: pink, black, cream, white, dark green ⊹ live: Nebraska

usually don’t like bragging about taking expensive trips, but i just got back from the grocery store. Now i’m on the way to the gas station

I miss skipping school, skipping work is so serious.

Joke theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of skeeters suffer every year!

*makes a post* *here enters an internet warrior* “you stole this joke it was posted years ago by someone else” Me “wild concept that people can post the same thing. It’s probably been posted a lot 🤷🏻‍♀️🤯”

Just did 8 push ups lmk if he raises his voice with you again babygirl

Me, an independent woman: I don’t need a man Also me, an independent woman: I sure wish I had a man to help me carry stuff into my apartment

My next guy is gonna be amish no snap no fb just him and me milking the cows 🐄

Dasani water taste like it’s been sitting in a water gun

astrology girls will hit u with their car & be like whoops it’s because im a caprisun

Knuckle tats: M O R E W E E D

Devi 🦇@deviwestside.bsky.social · last mo.

Knuckle tats: Y E A H O K A Y

“AI will replace you” is AI gonna take the same whore back 6 times lol