Me: Every quick errand somehow becomes an expensive side quest The cashier: maam I asked if you wanted paper or plastic

i love* when a man** tells me what he thinks *hate **little bitch

People who say “I’ve had it up to here with you” I noticed there’s still space for more.

if you’re happy AND you know it? in this economy?!

anyone want to fist fight out back behind the long john silvers?

4 4 2

Jim@jimstewart.bsky.social · 19h ago

Nope- don't drink coffee Nope- don't like toast Nope- don't like steak Burn it all and send it back

Good thing, I can find humor in everything and be easily entertained just sitting and watching absolute unhinged bullshit.

do boys know that we don’t care how loud their mufflers are

Wait. Are y'all in group chats? Is that what the cool kids are doing? Is this how I find out I'm still an outcast?

Man: I don’t watch WWE. It’s not real Me: *crying over a man wearing jorts * IT’S MORE REAL THAN THAT ORGASM I FAKED

My toxic trait is thinking I’d be incredible in the WWE writers room despite having zero qualifications besides being dramatic

A vacuum sealer is basically a machine that hugs food really tight

Yo that Wicker movie is about to be lit

Completely forgot I preordered this book and was pleasantly surprised when it was delivered today

*watching Love is Blind* Man: I’ve never felt this way before Me, single, with chocolate on my chin: Sir, it’s been four fuckin days

I always get the most random songs stuck in my head

Informer

Snow · 12 Inches Of Snow · Song · 1993

open.spotify.com

riding it in a way that brings honor to my family

*watching Love is Blind* Man: I’ve never felt this way before Me, single, with chocolate on my chin: Sir, it’s been four fuckin days

It’s not drinking alone when your insecurities are always there

I completed my grocery shopping for the next two weeks and am rewarding myself with a cocktail

mute me like one of your muted girls

Monochrome Monday, I don’t want to work edition

DisposableHero@disposablehero.com · 2d ago

🎶 It's Monday, Monday, gotta monochrome on Monday 🎶

Mg hips don’t lie but they do be hurting

I don’t chase people. I quietly assume they don’t like me and then disappear

Sometimes you just need to text your best friend and go on with your day @therealmegs.bsky.social

People wear me the fuck out

Went to Okoboji just to scroll bluesky on my phone in a different place

I’m giving her the D @therealmegs.bsky.social

I went on my first rollercoaster and was very brave about it

I don’t fear the lake. I fear the unknown squishy thing my foot is about to discover