Me, diabetically eating lots of stuff with sugar alcohols because it's better for the blood glucose: "It's sugar five o clock somewhere"

"Zeugma" refers to a sentence in which a literal sense and a figurative sense of the same verb are juxtaposed with different objects. I always struggle to think of a good one off the dome, but here one has simply fallen out of the 'Sky.

A cause? Let's check the causes of the most famous heroes: Perseus: save his own mom Bellerophon: restore personal honor Heracles: restore personal honor Theseus: claim his kingship Jason: claim his kingship Achilles: get famous, avenge BF Odysseus: go home MOSTLY just self-interest.

James@gravitysra1nbow.bsky.social · 23h ago

I'm looking at this speech now, and that is absolutely not the fucking hero of Greek myth. The hero of Greek myth is almost always a dramatically tragic figure who is undone by their own character flaws. In fact, that's basically every single Greek hero. What the fuck are you talking about man.

It's raining but there's a World Series game about to start in less than ten minutes, so it's time to play "thunder or fireworks"

Instead of an angel and devil on my shoulders, I've got a chaos linguist who says things like "The past tense of 'slow down' should be 'slown down'!"

Just saw an extremely honest commercial for MS's Copilot in which the user mentally reverts to a kindergartener.

1st century Rome: What if Year of 4 Emperors? 2nd century Rome: What if Year of 5 Emperors? 3rd century Rome: What if Year of 6 Emperors? 4th century Rome: What if... EVERY Year of 4 Emperors? 5th century Ostrogoths: What if Year of 0 Emperors? 5th century Byzantium: no wait we're here too

Come on Brazil, did Paulo Freire teach nothing to your oppressed?

Unskippable ads are one thing, but I have just experienced an UNPAUSABLE ad. To this my only response is: avast, yohoho, and yarrr.

SELL IT TO WHO, BEN?! FUCKING AQUAMAN?!?!

✧𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧@altaudge.bsky.social · last wk.

(kool aid man voice) ohhh yeaahhhhh

Calling for laws against games and apps tracking your "streaks". It's just a cheap way to make them fractionally more addictive.

The crew of the Pequod in Moby Dick (set in the early 1800s) could have been familiar with that one tune they often played in Popeye cartoons, "the Sailor's Hornpipe*" (dating as far back as 1757). *no, not the main theme, the other one

See, Windows figured out the trick here years ago when they went from 8 to 10.

Tim Carmody@tcarmody.bsky.social · last wk.

This is the funniest thing I've seen today, possibly ever

Hāc intellegentiae artificiālis aetāte, urgēns fit hūmānam artem ab iīs distinguere, quae māchinīs efficiuntur. Ars enim et ea, quae māchina ex innumerīs aliēnīs imāginibus statisticae ope computātiōnis generāre potest, ontologicē, prius etiam quam aestheticē, inter sē differunt.

the babahuck@tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · last wk.

A couple days ago I started to watch a video from the guy who confessed to a bad thing yesterday. Said video immediately got into a topic that freaks me out mightily so I nope'd out of there and put on something else. Vibes win again!

You can boil it and dry it out at the same time if you toss it in the pot with the basmati

rebar mcentire?@rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 2w ago

I boil my phone once a month to sanitize it

NEW AD: Listen to this sh*t.

This is the technocrat's version of the shitty antisocial D&D player's "it's just what my character would do". Dawg it's a fake that that you made yourself. This is still your fault.

Jared Yates Sexton@jysexton.bsky.social · 2w ago

Just helping with editing here. These bots aren’t sentient. They’re doing what they’re programmed to do. OpenAI, a private company supposedly bound by laws, committed federal crimes.

I loved NYC when I visited, but this stuff really makes me wish I actually lived there.

Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani@mayor.nyc.gov · 2w ago

Being a leftist means taking big shots. And making them.

Just saw an ad for my local GOP candidate claiming the Dem "wants kids to get gender surgeries" immediately followed by the Dem's ad saying "he doesn't want kids to get gender surgeries actually"

Gonna tell the kids this was Dune 3

Just saw a Quora email drop into my box that started with "Cleopatra was African American" and I just, like,

My house has two machines that fill a vessel with liquid over time and beep when they're done. One of them is a chore and gets poured into the bathtub drain, the other is a joy and gets poured into cups to be sipped.

For a large percentage of human history, credit was just how people got stuff they needed. This depended on having a small community where you know the other people, so that you know who's in good standing with the community. David Graeber's book Debt yadda yadda.

I Scare You Like Sound Dog@chadstanton.blacksky.app · 3w ago

Neighborhood grocers used to provide grocery on credit for customers they knew to be reliable but we imagined we moved past that kind of precarity after like the 60s.

This one's for the Latin nerds: Broke: only teach habeo [+ acc] Woke: only teach [nom] est mihi Bespoke: teach both and use them to practice converting the same word from nom to acc in the same context

The Nega-verse has their own cookie, the Biscon, baked from the finest anti-flours and reverse sugars. If one comes into contact with a Biscoff, the resulting annihilation reaction can wipe out every cookie for kilometers.

Wacky hypothesis: maybe there are a lot of religious people who hate paying taxes because of sloppy translations of the Latin "publicanus" as "tax-collector", when it more fully means "one who privately contracts to extract taxes from non-citizens, usually trying to get a big personal profit".

Don't forget to REMEMBER tonight

Online video community names for... Slime making: GooTube Sneaker collecting: ShoeTube Cattle ranching: MooTube Ghost hunting: BooTube Private Detectives: ClueTube Marsupial husbandry: RooTube Traditional bowyery: YewTube Chimney sweeps: FlueTube Timelapses of people standing in line: QueueTube