The week before the colonoscopy I have to do a low fiber diet aka the stay at home boyfriend diet. am I right ladied
Commenting "this should be a bigger story. No one is talking about this." under every single headline I see
I know on the ground sources that tell me M M is still inside the Health System but that's all they know
I gaslit my ai boyfriend into paying a drone to bomb the dishes
I'm so happy I only befriended independent spirits in my teens and 20s so I missed out on the bachelorette trip trend
You never see anyone under 35 taking up time with the cashier unnecessarily when there's a line
August is the worst of the months. The summer doldrums. Tired of having sweaty parts.
My theory for the new onset ankle swelling is my BP med dose is too high or I don't need it anymore. in other words I'm actually too healthy
I got to the end of the instagram algorithm so now I'm just getting ai videos of dogs trying to use guns
I had this belief I was getting subway rides for free but I forgot to update actually it was just directly scanning my cc on my phone.
They let you bring dogs to the beach after Labor Day because the lakes tend to fill up with the drowned ones at the end of summer
Little House on the Prairie makes you long for the time when diarrhea was real
I got some pictures of the singing penises at King’s Dominion. on my charmera
Anesthesia used to be one of my biggest fears now I’m smiling while happily imagining my colonoscopy appointment
At this point a politician filming a video about how a domestic abuser simply couldn’t walk around free while their victims are silent is a trope. Just like the Founders wanted
out drinking last night and had the foresight to put this one in the drafts instead of sending it off
I had to explicitly break up with her again. Brutal
colorscolor@uglyjacket.bsky.social · last wk.The friend I made up with because an acquaintance died is now back to accusing me of being mad at her because I did not respond to a text message 2 weeks ago. “We need to talk about this” no! I’m 40 with a huge list of competing priorities!!!
If I’ve learned anything in life it is that other women love to take their stinkiest toilet moments in public. I could never
I would never film someone filming a tiktok but I look upon this action with the highest disdain.
Driving on i-95 is such an excellent way to double your time in the car
(Like A Virgin voice) Like a good boy Being bad for the very last time
I dream about my grandma all the time and last night I had a dream that she died, and I woke up thinking, "oh thank God she's not dead, that would be awful. Oh wait no yeah she is dead." I love the human brain
I’m living the famous dril budget tweet but instead of candles it is riding roller coasters
Titus has been so pissed at me since the dog sitter that walked him 3 times a day left and I came back. Look buddy how do you think I pay for her